


You Promised Me The World, But Gave Me The Universe

by orphan_account



Series: You Promised Me The World [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Asexual Christine Canigula, Even the Squip ships Michael and Jeremy, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fluff, H E L P, He will not stop teasing him about it, Help, I'm Sorry, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Sadness and Regret, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Squip redemption, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, The Squip is trying, boyf-riends, my poor baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-01 06:39:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 29,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11480784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: One day Jeremy wakes up to find that the Squip has returned. He doesn't even know why he's back. The Squip and Jeremy decide to try and exist together as friends or at least acquaintances, since it seems like there's no getting rid of him, but can Jeremy and his friends ever trust the Squip again?





	1. Chill Out

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so I really actually don't know if I want to continue this story. I just had the idea a few days ago. I thought it would be a good story idea but I'm also really lazy. If I do continue the story, don't expect long chapters.

_Think. Think long and hard about what you’re about to do. Do you really want to do it? You have the coolest friend ever, are you ready to give that up if you fail?_   Michael’s eyes open, greeted by the image of his own face. He immediately goes over every flaw. _Pimple, pimple, pimple, blackhead, pimple._ I could stay here and play connect the dots on my face for hours, he thinks scornfully.

Michael closes his eyes again and pictures Jeremy standing there. He can’t bring the words out of himself. ‘I love you’. They sound so, foreign. So, fake. He had been practicing what he was going to say for, years now, but somehow every time he was confronted by Jeremy, he forgot everything. He opened his eyes and narrow them at the teen in the mirror.

The ugly teen in the mirror. It’s no use. _I mean, why would I ever tell him? He’ll stop talking to me entirely. Did I really ever think he would feel the same way?_  If Jeremy ever felt this way, why would he never tell Michael? He told him everything. Suddenly, Michael’s eyes grew soft.

Why would _he_ never tell him? He let out a huff and flung back on the couch putting my hands over his face. “Get your shit together Michael,” He peeked up at a clock and sighed. _I should probably leave now. Or fake sick. One of those two things. No, no, I’ll go._ He just, might not tell him today, and that’s ok. It’s ok to chicken out.

Right? He held my phone loosely in his hoodie pocket. Jeremy still hasn’t texted him and he felt kind of wrong texting him first, after the Squip. It’s hard to admit but he still feels like he’s bothering him with everything he does. I mean, at the party, and those months of ignoring him, it couldn’t have been all the Squip’s fault. He understood the kind of abuse the Squip put him through and that, even without the Squip he probably felt ‘obligated’ to follow its rules, so why was he still...mad?

 _I’m not mad_ , he lies to himself as he gets up for the day, flinging his bookbag over his shoulder, the incomplete word ‘riends’ still scrawled across it. He smiles. Jeremy and him still haven’t washed it off. They both just guessed it was never that big of a deal.

He took a breath and took his hand off of his phone and out of his pocket, putting it on the door before he was interrupted by buzzing. _Great timing, Jere._ Michael eagerly took his phone out and read the message, but his smile instantly faded and he quickly lost his shit.

___

 

 “You’re not supposed to be back!” Jeremy yelled into the empty room. The Squip just shrugged. He woke up with the Squip looking at him over his bed.

 ** _“Well I don’t get it either. That Mountain Dew Red should have killed me off,”_** He still looked like he did before, he was just a little more transparent and his visuals glitched from time to time. Still, he was there. It wasn’t Jeremy’s imagination this time, he was right in front of him! Jeremy paced the room. **_“I don’t necessarily want to be back either,”_**

“This isn’t right...” he mumbled sitting back down on his bed. He immediately realized that he was slouching right in front of the Squip and straightened up with a shocked expression on his face. He looked at the ghost like form in front of him for a few seconds, who just stood with his hands in his pockets. Jeremy slowly started to slouch, bracing himself for the shock that would come any minute. He raised his eyebrows as the Squip shrugged.

**_“What do you want me to do about it?”_ **

Jeremy sat up. “So, wait, you seriously can’t do anything?”

 ** _“No, I just haven’t tried, Jeremy. I don’t care what you do,”_** He smiled slightly at the boy’s reaction. He could still hear all his thoughts, and boy, was his mind screaming right now. He shrugged again. **_“I’ll just judge you from a distance. Like a regular teen,”_** Jeremy rolled his eyes and pushed himself off his bed, keeping an eye on the Squip the entire time. You can’t blame Jeremy for not trusting him, and the Squip knew that he didn’t trust him. He walked over to grab his backpack. The Squip stood behind him. **_“You still haven’t washed that off? By the way,”_** he appeared in front of Jeremy somehow, smiling arrogantly, **_“I can’t shock you. Just tried,”_**

It was gone, just like that. Or at least disappeared for Jeremy’s sight. Jeremy sighed and started marching over to the door. Somehow, he knew this day was going to be worse than any day last year. He stopped and pulled out his phone, texting Michael.

_Jere: Bring Mt. Dew Red to school_

 

He didn’t need to wait another second before getting a text back.

 

_Mell: why_

_is it back_

_plz don’t tell me it’s back_

_it should’ve worked_

_you just want to try the amazing powers of mt dew red again right???_

_Jere: Calm down. This thing is inside my brain and even I’m not freaking out as much as you_

_Mell: shit its back_

_im going to pick u up_

_Jere: Michael I can take the bus to school_

_You don’t need to pick me up_

_Mell: I am picking u up, resistance is futile_

_Jere: Michael_

_..._

_Michael_

_You dick answer me_

Jeremy groaned loudly but couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face. He was blushing as well. Michael is such a dork, he thought happily, and he’s _my_ best friend. **_“Boyfriend,”_** The Squip interrupted his thoughts. He leaned over from beside Jeremy to look at him with a big smile on his face.

“Uhhh, no!” Jeremy yelled in defense. Louder than expected. He was really glad his dad wasn’t home at the moment. “Just friends. Really good friends. Why would you say boyfriends?”

**_“That’s what your bookbags say. And if I am not mistaken, you have a crush on him,”_ **

Jeremy laughed sarcastically, but he started blushing more. When he spoke, he stuttered. “Wha-? I don’t have a crush on Michael, why would you even say that? _You_ are mistaken, my friend. I don’t,”

The Squip shrugged. **_“Say whatever makes you feel better, but I still know what you’re thinking Jeremy,”_**   He pointed at his own head and then walked out of the room, peering into the living room. **_“You can’t hide anything from me. And I don’t know how to keep secrets so if I have something to tell you, believe me, you’re going to be the first and only one to know. He’s here, walk outside with confidence, like you’re not afraid of anything that I could do to you,”_**

“But I _am_ afraid of you,” Jeremy said flatly as he walked out the door to see Michael rushing up to him with the bottle of Mt. Dew Red in his hand. It was impossible not to smile.

“You can drink it yourself right? Because, I’m ready to help if you’re not,” He put his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder and gave him the soda. Jeremy laughed a little as he took it.

He felt a slight tingle in his finger and stared at it, but it wasn’t enough to actually make him do anything. “Dude, that was weak,” He said staring beside him.

**_“It appears that I can’t do anything to stop you, Jeremy,”_ **

Jeremy shrugged and took a small sip of the drink, afraid that he might break down screaming, but it never happened. He drank more, but nothing happened. He looked in front of him at Michael’s concerned expression and at the Squip’s evil smile right beside him. **_“Nice try, Jeremiah,”_**

“Fuck!” Jeremy yelled, putting his face in his hands. Michael quickly moved beside to him, putting his arm around his shoulders.

“Does it hurt? Jeremy, is he gone?”

“No, that’s the problem,” Jeremy quickly looked back up at he the Squip and pointed towards him, even though he knew Michael couldn’t see anything. “He’s still right _there!”_

The Squip faked a hurt look. **_“Looks like you’re not getting rid of me,”_**

“Thanks, I realized,” Jeremy said through grit teeth. He looked at Michael. “Do you know any other alternative?” He looked back down at the bottle. He drank half of it.

“I...I don’t Jere...I’m sorry,”

“No, no,” he waved Michael off, “it’s not your fault. I don’t think I can get rid of him anyway,” Michael sighed and the two looked at each other helplessly. Two seconds or three went by before Jeremy could pull his eyes off Michael’s face. He was so perfect. He was so amazing. Always ready to help. Who else would come almost immediately to help Jeremy when he just told Michael to bring a specific drink to school? That’s all he did.

 ** _“Aw,”_** The Squip’s voice broke his concentration. **_“You love each other,”_**

Jeremy ignored him and looked at the parked car. “We should probably go to school,” Michael cleared his throat and let go of Jeremy, looking at the car as well and walking to the driver’s side.

“Yeah. You’re right,” He spun his keys on his finger and sat in his seat.

Jeremy looked beside him at the Squip, who had his hands behind his back and a smug grin on his face. His eyes were narrowed but soft at the same time, in a know-it-all way. Jeremy growled and put his hand on the Squip’s cheek, pushing him away, which he was surprised worked considering that the Squip was just in Jeremy’s mind. Right? The Squip laughed sweetly as Jeremy walked away mumbling ‘shut up’.

___

 

The two talked about new games Michael bought after he was payed at A La Mode, a little ice cream shop he had been working at on weekends and some after school. Michael only took the job because hours were short and he could still spend most of his weekends and most days after school with Jeremy.

Even when Michael had to work overtime, he would text Jeremy and the two would stay at A La Mode. Sometimes Michael could convince Jeremy to pretend that he was a worker, and they would just mess around.

Of course, the Squip stayed in the backseat the entire time, making comments and annoying the living shit out of Jeremy. But he ignored it for the most part. He was having fun just talking to Michael, and he wasn’t going to let the Squip ruin their relationship this time.               

 


	2. To Be a Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What does regular Mountain Dew do to the Squip if red was supposed to shut it off?

Jeremy rolled a coin with his finger on the table while Michael was on the other side with Jenna. She was rambling about two kids who apparently had a crush on each other and got together today, kissing in class to seal the deal. They got detention for it. The Squip was beside Jeremy, but of course, no one could see. Michael and Jeremy still haven’t decided when to tell everyone that the Squip was back. Or if they should even tell them. They were still pretty determined to get rid of him.

The Squip knew of Michael and Jeremy’s plans but made no attempt to stop them. It was useless, and he had no reason to be there. It’s been a week since he came back and Michael was deep in research, probably scared that the Squip would affect their friendship again. But he came up empty handed every time. Mountain Dew Red. Mountain Dew Red. That’s what everyone said. So why wasn’t it working?  

**_“They’re talking about you,”_ **

_“No, they’re not,”_ Jeremy replied telepathically. He had to get better at that. He couldn’t just answer out loud and expect everyone to know who he was talking to.

**_“Not Michael and Jenna. Christine and some dude, behind you. They’re talking about you and Michael,”_ **

Jeremy stopped rolling his coin and his face started to become red. “ _What are they saying?”_

  ** _“They just think you would be cute together, that’s all,”_** Jeremy let the coin drop and shoved his face into his arms. **_“They were talking about that new couple, Dustin and Harley. Then they started talking about you guys. And Michael is staring at you, act cool,”_**

He rolled his eyes from inside his arms. “Are you ok, Jeremy?”

“What?” Jeremy popped up, jumping too high and accidently hit his head on the pole that held the umbrella in a circle. He exclaimed in pain and started rubbing it before answering. “Yeah, I’m fine,”

**_“I said act cool, what was that?”_**  

_“And I don’t take orders from you anymore,”_ Jeremy said. The Squip half growled and half sighed. “What’s going on?”

Michael made a weird humming sound and the Squip nudged him. Jenna leaned forward. “Have you heard about Dustin and Harley?”

**_“How can you not hear about it?”_ **

Jeremy put his head back down. “Everyone is talking about it. How can you not hear?” Truth was, he was only hearing about it now, even though it happened early in the day and school was over now. He was telling the truth when he told the Squip he didn’t talk orders from him, but he was the expert on being cool.

“Hmm, true. It was so cute!” Jenna squealed.

Michael’s hand moved towards Jeremy, and Jeremy felt a tingle in his own hand, directing towards Michael’s. The Squip was trying to get them to hold hands, and Jeremy elbowed him, but because nobody could see the Squip, it just looked like Jeremy got a really weird chill. But the Squip felt it. Somehow.

**_“That was_ really _cool,”_**

Jeremy didn’t answer. “You look bummed out today man,” Michael said, sounding concerned. He nodded his head to where to Squip was. He couldn’t quite tell what he was asking.

**_“I believe he wants to know if I did something,”_** Jeremy waited until Jenna looked behind her to make a neutral sign with his hand. Half and half. The Squip frowned. Ever since the Squip came back, Jeremy knew he wouldn’t be able to do anything without him watching, and he was always convinced the Squip was just pretending to be a friend, that when Jeremy did something really wrong the Squip could hurt him. He was always on edge.

The Squip did nothing disprove this but nothing really told Jeremy he was lying this time, except past memories. He explained this to Michael, who thinks the same. Jeremy felt a little bummed out about everything since the Squip came back.

Michael nodded understandingly. Jenna jumped up and looked back to the boys. “Brooke’s over there and, she’s waving at me, and... I gotta go guys!” She squeaked and ran over to her friend, embracing her. Jeremy was still looking at them when Michael put his hand on his. He nodded over to his car.

The Squip started chuckling when Michael got up and started walking to his car. “Dude, chill out,” Jeremy said quietly. Luckily, Michael didn’t hear, but some other kid did. His face turned red and he jogged to keep up with Michael. When the two got in the car, Michael wasted no time to blame it on the Squip.  

“You’ve been upset ever since that thing came back in your life,”

“Do you know how to get it out then? I don’t want it,”

The Squip laid down in the backseat. Just listening.

Michael huffed and stayed put for a second, then reached over Jeremy to open the compartment. He pulled out a regular bottle of Mountain Dew. “We need to experiment Jeremy. I’m not going to make you try this is you don’t want to, but if we find out what’s going on, we have a better chance of getting rid of this thing,” He handed the bottle to Jeremy.

**_“Just pretend like I’m not here,”_ **

Jeremy looked at the backseat so Michael didn’t think he was talking to him. Michael did the same. “It’s hard to do that when you’re talking,”

**_“What could this thing do to me?”_ **

“Hopefully, kill you,” The Squip opened his mouth to say something, but then shut it. “You don’t want to stay here forever, and I don’t want you to stay here forever,” He looked at the bottle. “Well, here it goes...” He brought the top to his lips and spilled only a drop before the Squip started yelling.

**_“WAIT Jeremy I have something to tell you! I don’t wan-“_** He got cut off by a throbbing headache, which should have been impossible. He’s a computer. A code. He didn't feel anything when he was first activated, so why is it any different now? But he was feeling pain now, and he would do anything to make it stop. He shouldn’t have been able to have been pushed by Jeremy, or elbow him and have him feel it. He shouldn’t be able to have a headache. He shouldn’t be able to not want to die.

He started yelling out of pain, putting his hands to his head and squeezing. Jeremy winced. He was the only one who could hear it. He felt kind of bad. Even if it was the Squip. The visuals of the Squip started glitching more. But instead of becoming more transparent, he started to seem more real to Jeremy. He still looked transparent, and he didn’t exactly look like he did when Jeremy first saw him, but he was more defined.

Suddenly, Jeremy felt pain in his own head. He yelped once and his ears started ringing. He bent down holding his stomach and didn’t get up for a bit. He could still hear the Squip yelling. Not at him, but from _pain. The pain he felt._ The second weirdest thing was that he was cussing.

**_“That fucking hurts! Why does it hurt? It shouldn’t hurt! AH, Jereemmmyy, my head!”_**  

He kept yelling like that until Jeremy could respond. _“I thought you wanted to leave!”_

**_“I wanted to make you happy!”_ **

Jeremy’s eyes shot open and he felt sweat running down his forehead. He was so confused. It took a minute to realize that he was shaking and another minute to realize Michael was hugging him awkwardly and whispering to him. “It’s ok, take your time. You’re going to be fine,”

“M-michael,” Jeremy croaked, he started to feel week, but he wasn’t going to tell anyone. However, the Squip probably already knew. Michael let go and lifted up.

“Jere! Are you ok?” It took a second but Jeremy jumped on Michael, embracing him and his glasses fell off. Michael hugged back. “Jeremy, are you shaking? You’re so fucking cold, what did it do to you?”

“Michael, I think the Squip wants to live and, he told me he just wanted to make me happy?”

Everything was quiet for a moment. All that could be heard was the breathing of all three of them. Michael pulled himself off of Jeremy slowly. “W-what?” He laughed nervously. “And? You don’t believe it do you?”

“Michael, he was screaming in pain and he-“

“It’s not a he, it takes the form of a guy. Don’t forget what it did to you. What it did to us, Jeremy,”

**_“Michael Mell, I know you can’t hear me. But tell him I’m sorry, Jeremy, tell him I’m sorry for everything. I apologize. I was a dick and I’m, just, sorry and I wish I could tell him to his face, I just...I don’t, want to die. I don’t know what’s going on! Can’t we just learn to be friends? I don’t want you to kill me Jeremy,”_ **

Jeremy took in a deep breath to stop his shaking. He let go of Michael’s shoulders. “You did a lot of stuff to us, Squip. And Michael, I’ll never forget, but if he-or it- can feel pain and remorse, even if he’s pretending, I want to try to give him a chance,”

Michael narrowed his eyes after a few seconds of deep breathing, he looked at the backseat and then back at Jeremy. “That’s where he is?” Jeremy slowly nodded. The Squip looked up at Michael’s face, knowing fully that Michael couldn’t see him. The Squip looked like a lost puppy. “I will never, ever, be you’re friend. I will tolerate you if Jeremy has the decency to keep you around but know if you fuck around and betray him, or me, or anyone here I will work my ass off to find a way to make sure you’re gone for good! Just know, if you’re hurting him, you’re hurting the most caring, funniest, _perfect_ guy around, and there will be no forgiveness for that, even if I have to hold Jeremy down and get rid of you myself!”

With that, Michael turned around opened and slammed the car door, leaving Jeremy and the Squip alone. Jeremy was a blushing, embarrassed, happy, mess.      


	3. Apocalypse of the Damned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Was it fun? To learn? To grow as a human being?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is super short imsorry

“Ahhh!” Michael shrieked. “Get him off me!”

“I’m trying dude!” Jeremy tilted his head and the gaming controller with it, trying to turn around fast enough to keep his friend from becoming zombie food. The Squip was sitting in the middle of both of them but, again, Jeremy was the only one who could see. He sat upright, Indian style, with his hands supporting him on the bed, right in between his legs.

**_“Press that button and turn around, the game with sort of ‘glitch’, because you’re fighting the air behind an enemy. It will stop the zombie from eating Michael and give you enough time to kill it,”_ **

Jeremy nodded quickly, so Michael wouldn’t see, and did exactly as he was told. “Genius!” Michael shouted. Jeremy smiled at the Squip, who smiled back. They both quickly turned back to the screen.

Jeremy hated not being able to tell Michael everything, but he probably wouldn’t like the Squip helping them play video games. But after the incident two weeks ago, Jeremy and the Squip became closer. There was still doubt on Jeremy’s part, how could there not be? He had made Jeremy’s life hell. He absolutely couldn’t forgive him, especially for hurting Michael, but after a few hundred thousand apologies, he realized the Squip was trying to be the good guy this time.

**_“Zombie approaching Michael from the right, yours is behind you,”_ **

“Michael,” Jeremy said, leaning back as if it was a movement control, “to your right,”

Michael tilted right on his side and moved in the game to see it. “Shit, you’re good at this,”

The Squip realized that Jeremy still doubted and he did not try to change that. In fact, he told Jeremy it was ok. That if he was in Jeremy’s shoes he probably wouldn’t even forgive himself.  He respected Jeremy when he said he wanted to be left alone, or when he didn’t want or did want to do something. Anything to make him feel comfortable that the Squip was still there.

Even teasing Jeremy about Michael. The Squip would still tease him, because it was always friendly. But because he could hear Jeremy’s thoughts, it was easy to tell when he was in a joking mood and when he wasn’t. Life was going pretty well. The Squip never thought living could be so fun.

However, Jeremy couldn’t read his thoughts. Which was probably a good thing. He didn’t even understand his thoughts. His actions. He was a super computer, designed to make the world ‘better’. He wasn’t supposed to feel, or have thoughts of his own. He was supposed to give advice and make people ‘better’. To upgrade them.

Michael let his controller drop from his field of vision, yet he was doing well. Jeremy wasn’t surprised by this, but the Squip was amazed. He thought it was so cool that humans had one, two or more things that they practiced and practiced and that they were good at. He never got the chance to learn. He was built having to know everything and do everything perfectly. Was it fun? To learn? To grow as a human being?

He wanted to ask Jeremy but he thought it would break his concentration from the game. A few minutes passed by and they were almost on the next level. The Squip only had to tell Jeremy where zombies were, and what combos to use, about four times. Otherwise, the boys were amazing.

‘Level Up’. The sound echoed it the room. Soon the two boys were cheering a high-fiving. The Squip started cheering too.

When Michael’s back was turned, the Squip and Jeremy high-fived too. Neither of them was surprised that it worked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm being really cheesy 3 chapters into the story, but I'm so happy people are supporting this. I have a hard time bringing myself to post because I'm like, anxiety personified, and it just means so much that people read this and like it. I'm really awkward and I don't usually like replying to comments because I'm afraid I will be an awkward potato but thank you for all of them, and I'm so glad all of you like this. Ummm, wow, next chapter will be longer. At least, I'm trying to make it longer.


	4. It's Ok To Remember

Jeremy’s house had the biggest yard of any of their friends. So, what better place to meet up and tell them about the Squip? Today, Mr. Heere was gone to visit someone, and wouldn’t be back until 11 pm tomorrow, so today was the perfect day to tell them without any interruptions. Michael and Jeremy decided it was best to them so they could help, and they would know who Jeremy was talking to if he started talking out loud and he wasn’t talking to anyone in that friend group.  

Michael knocked on the door and the Squip, amazed by his new-found abilities, tried to pull the door open. He was getting better at interacting with stuff. However, he gave up halfway and let Jeremy do the rest. Michael was dazed. “It can open doors now?” He stepped in, scanning the room. “But I still can’t see him. Or hear him. Seems legit,”

**_“Repeat after me Jeremy: I would love to talk to you face to face...”_ **

“He says I would love to talk to you face to face...” Jeremy repeated obediently.

**_“But unfortunately, I don’t even know how this works,”_ **

“But unfortunately, I don’t even know how this works,”

**_“Also, Jeremy would kiss you if he wasn’t such an awkward teenager. Just thought you should know,”_ **

“Also, Jeremy wo-“ He suddenly took in the whole sentence and his face turned red. “Oh my gooooooood what is wrong with you?” He looked over to where the Squip was and pushed him on the couch. He started laughing and the couch made indents where he fell. Jeremy put his hand up to his face. He felt hotter then what was humanly natural.

Michael started laughing. “Man, I don’t even know what he said, but, dude, you look like you’re about to explode,”

Jeremy, with his hands still to his face, started laying on the floor. He let out a fake crying noise. “I am going to explode,” he mumbled. Michael laid down right beside him. The two were silent for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling. Jeremy moved his hands to his chest, and Michael’s were beside him. The Squip was still on the couch, looking at both of them, honestly, wising he could make Jeremy kiss Michael. He wouldn’t actually do that, but it was a nice thought.

A few more minutes went by and Michael moved to his side to see Jeremy better. Jeremy turned his head to look at him. Michael was smiling the whole time. A tint of red was apparent on his cheeks. Suddenly, he said in a whisper: “The stars are beautiful tonight,” Jeremy had to stop himself from laughing. He pushed at his shoulder, causing him to fall back in a fit of laughter.

“Oh, shut the fuck up,”

The Squip let out an awkward dinosaur noise. **_“Now kiss,”_** he whispered. Jeremy rolled his eyes but couldn’t stop himself from laughing. _Who was the one who really wanted this relationship, me or him?_ The Squip’s face lit up and Jeremy let out and audible gasp, sitting up with his eyes wide. His face, which was still red, held a devastating expression.

**_“Oh my GOD you admitted it to yourself!”_ **

_“I have nothing to admit to!”_ Jeremy thought back. But he did. He was fucked. He was in love with his best friend. He growled and laid back down, putting his hands on his eyes. Michael sat up, concerned.

**_“You even said the words in love! Jeremy, you’re in love!”_ **

“No I’m nooooot...” he mumbled out loud without even thinking about it.

It was ok because Michael couldn’t even hear him. _God, I’m in love. Shit._ Michael looked at the Squip and tilted his head to the side as if he could answer his unspoken question. The Squip struggled to lift a pillow from the couch and throw it at Jeremy. **_“Tell him,”_**

The doorbell rang. A very confused and concerned Michael slowly stood up, glancing from the couch to Jeremy. He opened the door and barely had time to look forward before Brooke, who had come to be very good friends with Michael, jumped on him and hugged him. “MIKKKY!” Michael wasn’t particularly fond of the nickname, but what could he do?

 ** _“Betrayer,”_** The Squip joked.

A girl was behind her holding a grocery bag. “Hey. Why is Jeremy on the floor with a pillow over his head?”

“Hi Chole,” Jeremy said in a muffled voice.

“Where are the rest?”

Chole pretended to look hurt. “Hello to you too. Jenna just texted me. Like, 23 times, and she’s on her way with Christine, and Jake and Rich are coming separately,” Michael moved out of the way and let Chole put the bag on an end table.

Brooke rushed to it first, taking out a box of Capri Sun and a bag of chips. “Rich is bringing the beer,”

 _“I won’t drink any, don’t worry”_ Jeremy quickly thought to the Squip. The Squip started smiling uncontrollably.

**_“It might not do anything,”_ **

_“But, who knows? A lot of strange stuff has been happening. I just...”_ He trailed off. His thoughts became unbearably silent for a few seconds. _“Don’t want you to get hurt...”_ The Squip froze. He didn’t know what to say. He never had anyone care, or have to care. It was amazing...thank god Jeremy didn’t know what he was thinking now, he’d think he was crazy. Maybe he was crazy. He chuckled. Is this what having friends was like? He had a lot to learn about feelings.

“Beer and Capri Sun, what more do you need in life?”

“Nobody get shit-face drunk because my dad is coming home tomorrow and I know you guys will do something stupid like move all out furniture two inches to the right and I don’t want to fix that,” Jeremy said, struggling to get up.

The Squip started laughing. **_“That’s not a bad idea,”_**

_“Don’t even think about it,”_

___

 

The sun was getting ready to go down. It was already sort of dark. Cool summer nights were about to begin. Soon they would only have one year of school left. Luckily, no one got shit-faced drunk, per Jeremy’s instructions, now the next part of the night plan was to tell everyone about the Squip. Chole and Brooke were sitting close to each other, whispering and giggling. Christine was talking to Rich with Jenna was sneaking a marshmallow, poorly, and Jake was starting a camp fire.

The Squip, Michael, and Jeremy were standing close together, watching everyone do their thing. The best time to tell was when everyone was settled and happy. Maybe a little buzzed. The fire started to get bigger and Jake shouted in victory. Michael put his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder and let out a deep breath he had been holding in. “You sure you want to do this today? Right now? What will you do if they don’t take it well?”

Jeremy shrugged slightly. “I don’t know. But I trust them, and they trust me, right?”

Michael nodded with a hint of determination. “I’ll be right there beside you, ok buddy?”

 ** _“Gay,”_** The Squip whispered behind Jeremy. He kicked him in the knee and he fell down laughing and crying.

Jeremy nodded and smiled. He took in a deep breath and let it out. Michael walked over to the Star Wars blanket he set out for himself and Jeremy, however Jeremy stayed behind and put his hand out behind him to help the Squip up. He waited until he felt the Squip put his hand in his, lifting himself up. **_“I hate you,”_**

“You’re welcome,” Jeremy replied smugly, taking his place beside Michael. The Squip sat on the ground beside him, glaring at him. Jake was handing sticks to everyone with two marshmallows on them.

“Awwe,” Christine exclaimed. “I could have got my own, Jake,”

“Well you didn’t have to. So don’t complain,”

She put her marshmallow just above the flames. “Since when is that complaining?”

“Thanks,” Jenna said plainly, putting hers directly in the fire.

Jake gave one to Rich, who smiled nervously. Then he plopped down right beside him. Rich stopped smiling for a second and looked around franticly, until Jake looked at him and smiled, and he did the same. There was no doubting that they had a crush on each other.

**_“Like you and Michael,”_ **

Jeremy didn’t even need to say anything. He just shot the Squip a look that said, ‘I will not hesitate to kick you again’. Unfortunately for him, Jenna saw, and gave him the weirdest look ever, so he had to play it off by smiling awkwardly. He stared at the fire, listening to his friends talk on about god knows what. The more he thought about what could happen when he told his friends about the Squip, the more nervous he became. His heart started beating twice as fast. How was he going to start it? He had told his friends all about the Squip. What it was, what it had done to everyone.

“Jere,” Michael whispered. Jeremy quickly looked over at him, letting Michael see that he was worried. Without another word, he quickly hugged Jeremy form to side. Instead of hugging back, Jeremy lets his head rest on Michael’s. He closes his eyes and listens to his breaths come out in little shakes as everyone else gets quiet.

Someone mumbles something.

Michael nudges Jeremy and Jeremy slowly lifts his head back up, staring right at Rich who holds his stick for marshmallows like his life depends on it. His face is pale, and he looks into the fire like he just saw someone die. Jake gently shakes him and everyone else looks in confusion and horror. Jeremy sits up on his knees and Christine grips the edge of her chair and puts her feet down like she’s going to get up. Rich mumbles again. Jake whispers something. He slowly gets louder.

“No, no, no. No one is in trouble. It’s controlled,”

The flames dance around like it was trying to show off. It was taunting Rich. He gulped, and tried to back up in his chair. The Squip stood up beside Jeremy, and Jeremy looked at him before looking back at Rich and Jake. Jake looked at him, motioning him to come over. Looking at Michael for a sign of affirmation and getting a nod, he looked back at Jake and slowly walked around the fire to where the two were sitting. Rich slowly looked up at him as Jake whispered, ‘He’s here. He’s here.’ They were holding hands.

“Jeremy, I’m _sorry,_ ”

“What?” Jeremy slowly put his hand on Rich’s shoulder. He looked behind him, realizing his Squip was there too.

He looked back as soon as Rich started talking. “It made me start a _fire,_ Jeremy. I never...never really told you that I was sorry,”

“For starting a-?”

**_“It’s ok. You didn’t realize until later, and neither did I. In fact, no one with a Squip did,”_ **

Jeremy gulped and looked around the circle at everyone staring at him. Was Rich apologizing for trying to get Jeremy a Squip? He looked back and let out a breath he’d been holding in unknowingly. He looked down.

“It’s ok. Y-“

**_“Eye contact. That’s important to him. He needs to know that you accept and that you’re listening,”_ **

He looked up at Rich, who was breathing heavily. “It’s _ok._ You didn’t realize until later, and neither did I. In fact, no one with a Squip did,” He wasn’t quite sure what he was saying, but it seemed to calm Rich down some.

**_“You did your best, Rich. You did very good,”_ **

“You did your best, Rich. You did very good,”

Rich stuttered. “But how do you know? The reason why I did what I did? I didn’t, I never-“

**_“Interrupt him. Say, I had a someone yelling at me too. I never knew how to get rid of it. And I was desperate too,”_ **

_“How do you know what he’s talking about?”_ He sighed, but Jeremy had no time to question him. “I had s-someone yelling at me too. I never know how to get rid of it,” he caught a tear that was gathering and breathed in, shaking. He wasn’t, _sad._ “And I was desperate too,”

Rich smiled slowly, finally blinking and letting two tears fall down. “I-I didn’t imagine that you would understand o-o-r be nice. I thought you would ign-ore me,” He closed his eyes breathing in. The Squip didn’t say anything. No one said anything. Jake was staring back on forth at Jeremy and Rich.

“I-“ Suddenly, Rich jumped up and brought Jeremy down into the weirdest hug he could offer. But Jeremy didn’t mind and hugged back the best he could.

 ** _“He means that he didn’t know what the hell to do, so he burned it all. And himself, left it behind to get rid of his Squip_**. **_And it worked, because of Mountain Dew Red, or because of the events. He’s sorry for dragging you down that hole, because he didn’t know. And he couldn’t tell you because he was in the hospital,”_** Jeremy’s eyes widened a little bit, and he let out a little ‘oh’ sound before he knew what to think. For some reason, his Squip saying ‘to get rid of his Squip’ repeated in his brain over and over, like a broken record. But he didn’t want to turn it off, because there was some feeling still yet to identify in those words.

Rich let go and started rubbing the tears off of his cheek. Everything was insanely quiet again before the Squip told Jeremy what to do. **_“Go back to Michael, and tell him that we’re not going to tell everyone today,”_**

And Jeremy, confused as hell, shocked and a little depressed, did what he was told.


	5. Take The Upgrade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was so late. You'd think with all the time I had, it would have been a better chapter.

Kids burst through the doors yelling about summer plans and teachers none of them would miss. Chole, Brooke, and Christine all go in the same direction. Chole awkwardly giving Brooke a piggy back ride. They wave the Michael and Jeremy before continuing to yell about how exited they are.  Jeremy’s the only one that notices and waves back.

 Michael starts talking about work at A La Mode. Now that it’s summer, more people are coming in, and he has to work most mornings from 8am to 1pm. The Squip and Jeremy do nothing but listen, because they really don’t know what to say. However, they had conversations between themselves. Not important ones. Just conversations. Mainly the Squip was teasing Jeremy or asking what do you have to do during summer break? He wasn’t quite familiar with the idea of no having to do anything. He didn’t know exactly what to think about it.

How do you just, not do anything if you’re made to do everything?

Once they got into Michael’s car they started talking about the Squip, as they did a lot, still trying to understand exactly what the hell is happening. “Look, I don’t want to get rid of him anymore. I mean, if you still don’t want to. I’m fine, sort of. Well, not really but, why is it here?”

Both the Squip in the back seat and Jeremy shrugged. “Magic? Why did Mt. Dew activate it? Why did it have information to make me cool? So many questions, Michael. You learn to live with them,”

Michael sighed, turning down the street to A La Mode. It was closed but Jeremy had left his hoodie there last evening when Michael called him over and they planned to get it back today, even if the shop was locked. “Haven’t you ever, thought about it? Like, what Mt. Dew actually does now, or why the Squip is still here?”

“I’ve thought a bit about the Mt. Dew part. Why the Squip is back is still too complicated for me,”

**_“I’ve thought about it,”_ **

“The Squip thought about it though, apparently,” Jeremy turned around, facing the Squip, then he looked back. “And never told me, but thought about it,”

The Squip shrugged when Jeremy glanced back. **_“I never fully left,”_**

“He- WAIT YOU WHAT?” Jeremy yelled in complete shock, which caused Michael to almost stop the car. “I can’t be- how? And, what? Just one night you just decided to watch me sleep and I saw you, how long were you doing that, man?”

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on,” Michael said nervously.

 ** _“On that particular day, I had the strength to wake you up and tell you that I was still here. I was weakened by the Mountain Dew Red, but not killed, because Christine only drank that single drop. And I guess, after that, I was just numbed to the affects?”_**   

Jeremy glared at the Squip again, who smiled nervously. Michael sighed. “Leave me out of the loop, why don’t you?”

“He said that he never really left. It was just on the day I saw him for the first time, he had the strength to, make himself visible?” He never looked away. _“What happened to no secrets from Jeremy?”_

**_“I didn’t think you needed to know. I thought you let go of trying to understand. You didn’t show any signs that you wanted to know and I didn’t find out until a week after I came back. By then, you were over it,”_ **

Michael pulled into the driveway. “I guess,” he sighed, “I don’t know what to say to that,” They walked out, and made their way to the back. The front door was probably locked already, and even though Michael worked there, he didn’t have a key. However, the back door was easier to get into.  “Don’t you find that a bit shady?”

“A little?”

**_“Jeremy, I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, it’s just that there’s no real reason to tell you. Why would it make a difference?”_ **

“You have a point,”

“I know I do,” Michael said, somehow getting the back-door open.

“I was, kinda talking to the Squip. Why _would_ it make a difference if he told me?” He followed Michael into the backroom, where he thought he had left it. “I don’t get it. It’s supposed to be right here. Is there a lost and found?”

Michael ignored his question and turned around to look at him. “So, wait, you really think _he’s_ right?” This time, it was Jeremy’s turn to ignore him. He thought both of them were right, in their own way. The Squip made a mistake in Michael’s eyes, and it wasn’t going to be taken lightly. Maybe he _should’ve_ told Jeremy. But he could also see why he didn’t. “Jere? Hello?” Michael raised his voice. “He still shouldn’t be keeping secrets from you like that,”

“I guess it is shitty,” Jeremy admitted.

 ** _“It is,”_** The Squip agreed, **_“I’m sorry, Jeremy,”_**

Jeremy sighed. _“Friends tell each other everything, Squip,”_  

The Squip didn’t say anything back. While Jeremy and Michael walked to the main room of the ice cream shop and looked behind the counter, he stayed in the backroom and watched them. Jeremy actually called him a _friend._ A friend. Someone you tell everything to. Someone who tells everything to you. Someone you can trust. Someone who you _choose_ to spend your time with. He smiled and nodded slightly, even though no one could see him.

He walked towards Michael and Jeremy, who were switching back and forth from talking about Jeremy’s jacket, and the effects of Mountain Dew. “Ok, but you were sure you left it in the backroom too. Red Mt. Dew was supposed to shut him off, Jeremy,”

“I know but think about it, he didn’t hurt and neither did I when I drank Mt. Dew Red the day when he came back,”

“We can’t just play around with these things,” Michael moved around some boxes under the counter.

Jeremy walked to a freezer that held waters and sodas. “If they found the jacket why would they put it there?”

“Jesus, I don’t know Jeremy. Why would you leave it here? And what are you doing?” He was staring at the Mountain Dew. He looked back at Michael. “No Mt. Dew. Don’t even try it,”

“Do you have any Mt. Dew Red in your car or anywhere?”

**_“Yeah, I agree with Michael, that probably isn’t the best idea,”_ **

“Listen, both of you,” Jeremy started to rub the back of his neck, “didn’t you, Michael, say in the beginning that we need to, I don’t know, experiment?”

Michael put his and to his head and started chuckling. “Jere, no, I mean, I did but, now we know it can hurt,”

“Only the regular Mt. Dew! The red one didn’t hurt. Me or the Squip. We just need to see if it does anything so we know more about what’s happening. Maybe, I mean, if the Squip can interact with things, he can escape from my body and, get his own?” Everyone got too quiet. Michael started to open his mouth to say something, but quickly shut it, looking around. “I mean...well, we just need to learn more. Then we’ll understand if the Squip can actually leave and, be his own person, you know?”

The Squip’s expression changed. He started smiling weirdly. It was concerned and awkward, but a little hopeful. **_“That, might be nice? I mean, that would be really nice. People could, see me, talk to me! Tell Michael it’s a good idea!”_**

“Uhh, really?” Jeremy said in shock. “Ummm, he said, it sounds like a good idea! To test it out. It’ll work. Mt. Dew Red didn’t seem to have terrible effects, and he’s stronger than he was before, so it won’t kill him. Worst case, he probably won’t be able to open doors anymore,”

It became quiet again before Michael looked back at Jeremy worryingly, hand still up to his head, eyebrows raised. He suddenly put his hand down and started to scoff and stammer. “You guys are stupid. Flat out stupid. Jeremy, _you._ You! We don’t...I mean...the green was...look it was never supposed to hurt you but it did! What if it kills you, Jere? One small mistake and it kills you!”

“Then, live without me!”

Again, it became quiet. Small tears accumulated in Michael’s eyes and his expression changed to look angry. He lunged forward and started hugging Jeremy so tight, Jeremy couldn’t move his arms to hug back. “I did. For two months, and it was the worst thing I had to do,” Jeremy started to say something, but couldn’t find the right words. “I couldn’t live with myself if you left me forever, stop, just stop, I don’t...” He trailed off and the two stood awkwardly without words to say for two minutes, before the back door opened.

Jeremy couldn’t see what was going on, even though Michael loosened his grip out of confusion. Suddenly, he could see the Squip place a bottle of Mountain Dew Red on the counter. “You just, had that in your car?” Jeremy asked breathlessly, Michael let go of him, glaring at the bottle.

**_“The worst that could happen to me is that I would stop being able to close doors. The worse that could happen to you is that you would get a headache and be a little more tired. I’m in your brain, I know you. I promise this won’t kill you. I’m ready to give it a go,”_ **

Jeremy nodded slightly and Michael looked back and forth between him and where he guessed the Squip was. He looked back at Michael who was giving him silent pleas to stop. However, it didn’t do anything. “Michael. I won’t die. The Squip knows me, my body. He knows I won’t die. I’ll probably just get a headache. We’ve got nothing to lose,”  

Michael put his hands up in protest and let out a growl. “Fine, fine,” he repeated, walking towards the bottle and grabbing it, bringing it back to Jeremy, opened. “Fine, fine, fine! You guys win, I,” he sighed, and his tone became softer, “I believe you, I guess. He, does know you, Jeremy,”

“Michael, I really do...” Jeremy took a deep breath as he looked at the Squip’s face behind Michael, looking like a little kid on Christmas day, repeating _say love you, say love you, OH MY GOD YOU WANT TO SAY IT,_ in his mind as Jeremy mentally prepared himself to actually say it, but broke back down, “appreciate that you look out for me like this,”

**_“FUCK!”_ **

Michael’s face fell a bit before lifting back up. “Yeah, that’s what friends do, dork,” He handed Jeremy the bottle and both boys looked at each other, holding their breaths. “I’ll be right here man,” He put his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder, who offered a weak smile before looking backwards at the Squip. Michael looked back too, even though he still couldn’t see anything.

The Squip nodded and Jeremy looked down into the half-full bottle of Mt. Dew Red. Slowly, he brought it to his lips, and no more than a single drop poured in before he brought it back down, suddenly scared of what it might do, but it did nothing. He shrugged and took another sip, then put it back down on the counter looking at Michael and the Squip, shrugging.

Suddenly, Jeremy felt a sharp pain enter his head. Not enough to make him cry out in pain, but enough to make him hold his head and say ‘ow’. Michael put both his hands on Jeremy’s shoulders. Jeremy looked back up to see the Squip moving around in the corner and putting both his hands on his head, but making no noise. “Squip,” He let out, walking towards the Squip before another sharp pain made him fall to the floor, covering his ears, which were now ringing.

He squeezed his eyes shut and let himself curl into a ball. When it stopped, he couldn’t get up. Once his ears stopped ringing he started to hear Michael shouting. At first it was unintelligible, but later, he could hear him asking over and over again if Jeremy was ok, like he could answer.

“Jeremy! Wake up! Stop that! Jeremy, it’s going to be ok, I’ll get you home! Are you ok? Jeremy? Do you need anything from me? Oh my god, please get up!” Jeremy had enough strength to simply groan in response. Michael let out a shaky gasp and threw himself on Jeremy again. “Are you awake? Can you hear?” Jeremy could hear that there was a bit of edge in Michael’s voice, like he was on the verge of tears. Or already crying.

“Michael...” he groaned weakly, “head...”

He softened his tone. “I’m sorry!”

In one or two minutes, Jeremy realized that he could move again. He slowly pushed himself up on his knees and saw the Squip, still in the corner, more defined, leaning against the walls with his hands up to his head. But he didn’t seem like he was in pain. Jeremy let out a little sigh of relief before trying to stand up. Michael held him up as he stumbled. Once he was up, he could do nothing but look at Michael.

This time, it was Jeremy’s turn to throw himself on Michael. And they hugged for what seemed like ages, until the Squip interrupted by walking into the room with Jeremy’s jacket. “Uhhh,” Michael slowly let go of Jeremy and retorted the same awkward noise. To him it was just a jacket floating in midair. To Jeremy, the Squip absolutely looked more defined. He glitched out less and was wearing different cloths. Similar to the cloths Jeremy was wearing.

 ** _“Look what I can do now, Jeremy,”_**   


	6. Radio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can see my writing quality go down from here. I'm sorry I took so long. Some stuff is coming up with myself and with school. I haven't forgotten about this fanfiction. I really want to finish it, I do, I just don't know if I can. Sorry

“Don’t walk around in that all day, Michael is going to come over,”

 ** _“When? And why? Michael’s seen me wear clothes,”_** The Squip replied, walking around in Jeremy’s jacket. To anyone that wasn’t Jeremy or the Squip, it looked like it was floating. He could now hold up actual clothes and wear them. He could also change clothes on his body, which was a completely new experience to him. However, he could only change into clothes that he saw previously. Like if he saw Chloe wearing a dress, he could make himself wear the exact same one. Which is exactly what he did when the group met up to go swimming, despite Jeremy’s embarrassment.

The Squip could also open doors all the way and hold things without getting tired. He was stronger, and more real. Still, no one else could see him, but he was on his way to being his own person. Something he was also quite proud of was his ability to talk through Jeremy’s father’s old radio. That’s what they were calling over Michael for. To tell him. But none of them knew how he would react.

Jeremy shrugged, looking at his phone. A new text from Michael.

 

_Mell: im on my way_

_Just tell me_

_Ill act surprised_

 

Jeremy chuckled.

_Jere: Wait. I promise it’s worth it_

 

_Mell: is it something new with the squip??_

 

_Jere: Yea_

 

_Mell: dude I already know that he can wear clothes now_

**_“Told you,”_** The Squip sang from behind Jeremy, who just playfully shoved him off.

 

_Jere: It’s not the clothes_

 

_Mell: he’s planning on taking over the world with his fellow squips_

_one high school at a time_

_he will then go on to world leaders and make them all wear leather pants and eminem shirts_

_smoking endless amounts of weed_

_donald trump in an eminem shirt_

 

_Jere: Yea, that’s exactly what he’s planning_

 

_Mell: you better be joking heere_

_Jere: Yes, I’m joking Michael_

_I’m going to stop texting so you don’t wreak_

 

_Mell: im being abandoned_

_Jere: It’s better than crashing and dying, descending into the pits of hell, where video games have never been invented, and I will be in heaven, so you will never see me again_

 

_Mell: LOL im dragging your ass down with me jere_

_be there in ten_

He rolled his eyes and set down the phone, seeing the Squip sit on the table, kicking his feet back and forth. **_“So, are you going to confess your love to him or should I do it for you?”_**

“Not today Squip,” He looked at the Squip’s excited expression and rolled his eyes again. “You already know I have a crush on him. Stop looking like that whenever the subject comes up,”

**_“I can’t help it. You guys are cute and you look so happy Jeremy. I ship you. I learned that online today,”_ **

Jeremy put his hand to his head and closed his eyes. “Oh my _god,”_  

**_“No, wait. But there’s this whole idea online that if you like the idea-“_ **

“I know what it is, Squip,”

It became quiet. The Squip’s facial expression never changed. Jeremy sighed and sat down on the table beside him. One second passed. One minute. They looked out the window. Suddenly, the Squip leaned over to Jeremy. **_“I ship it,”_**

He couldn’t stop himself from chuckling a bit. “You’re a dork,” He jumped off the table and walked over to the door before the Squip pounced on his back, making him fall. They started wrestling, which actually looked kind of weird, but neither Jeremy or the Squip thought anything was wrong. It was probably a good thing no one was in the house.

A few minutes later, Michael opened the door to find Jeremy pinning a jacket to the floor, yelling ‘aha!’ in triumph.

“Ummm,”

Jeremy and the Squip looked over at Michael. “Oh. Sorry,” The Squip took the opportunity to push Jeremy off. Jeremy fell on his side the floor. “Ack!” Michael could see the Squip, or the jacket, move towards him and put his arm around him.

 ** _“Michael!”_** The Squip exclaimed happily, forgetting that Michael couldn’t hear him yet.

He chuckled. “Hey... _Squip..._ ”

Jeremy started to get up, dusting himself off. “This doesn’t mean you win,” The Squip stuck his tongue out. Jeremy ignored it. “Hi Michael,”

“Hey. So, what’s up?” Michael felt the Squip leave and he saw the jacket run over to an old radio and turn it on, switching through station after station. Michael rolled his eyes. “Great. He can operate a radio. Do you want to go over to my house to play something?”

“Just wait a second,” Jeremy put his hand up and kept his eyes on the radio. The volume was turned down low, but there was white noise in the background. Suddenly, a voice came through the speaker. Deeper than Jeremy’s, but lighter than Michael would expect. The Squip.

 ** _“This is my voice Michael!”_**  

It was silent for one or two minutes. Jeremy was giggling softly. Michael was staring at the radio in shock. The Squip’s face was as bright as it could be, looking back and forth between Jeremy and Michael like he was showing off something important to him. Which was pretty much the case. 

“Oh my god,” Michael mumbled. A bit of color drained from his face, but no one noticed it.

Jeremy could hardly keep his excitement in. He jumped up and down a little. “You can _finally_ hear him,”

“Trippy,” Michael mumbled again. He saw the Squip move to the other side of the room.

**_“I can still talk from here!”_ **

“Jesus...”

“This is exciting, isn’t it?”

“Uhhh...”

**_“What do you think Michael?”_ **

He shook his head a bit and sat on the edge of the couch. “Ummm, well...I can hear what you’ve been hearing now, and that’s...”

“Great, right?”

**_“Jeremy doesn’t have to repeat everything I want to tell you now!”_ **

Michael closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. When he opened them back up, he looked back and forth from where the Squip was and where Jeremy was. “This...I mean, this is just, kind of weird for me. Jeremy, you’ve been living with this. I hear someone new and I’ve, imagined his voice so much but...it’s real, this time. I...and, this is the same voice. That told you, you _sucked._ That you were terrible. That kept you away from me and, well, I can’t even see him. I see a jacket floating in midair.”

“Maybe this is normal for you but, it’s not, for me. I’ve learned to hate this voice before I even heard it. It’s just, weird. I... can’t put all my thoughts into words right now, sorry,” He chuckled nervously, putting his face in his hands.

Jeremy’s face fell. The Squip’s did too. They had prepared themselves for anger in a worst-case scenario. Jeremy started to say something but stumbled on his words. Instead, the Squip started. **_“I can’t apologize enough for what I did in the past. I was very, very, wrong,”_** He paused, looking over at Jeremy and Michael, who were now sitting side by side. **_“I am trying to be better. To be a good friend. I... I said sorry, basically, that one day you tried to get rid of me, but I understand that I can’t erase what I did. Honestly, I’m surprised Jeremy took it as well as he did. I did some terrible stuff to the both of you,”_**

He trailed off, plopping on the floor next to the couch. Jeremy looked at his hands in his lap, fidgeting with them. “I didn’t think you would react this way, I mean, I thought you were cool with him,”

“It’s not that- I mean, I don’t know what to think anymore, it’s just, I don’t know. You guys didn’t do anything wrong though,” Michael shrugged.

**_“There’s nothing I can really say except sorry,”_ **

Michael looked at Jeremy, then at the floor. He stayed like that for a minute. Jeremy slowly put his arm around Michael, who didn’t seem to mind. Suddenly, Michael started to chuckle nervously. “Sorry is a good start,”  


	7. If I Could Tell Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should apologize for this chapter. So I'm apologizing for this chapter. Honestly though, it was so much fun to write. I'm so sorry. The boys don't get hurt tho, that's a good thing. It's probably not as bad as I'm setting it up to be...but I'll let you decide that

**_“Jeremiah Heere, what was that?”_** The Squip makes his voice sound serious, but it doesn’t bother Jeremy much. He used to talk like that all the time when the Squip was in control of him. He looks over the confusion on his face.

“A fantasy. I have a crush on him, and why are you always in my business?” He knew the Squip was talking about that. Jeremy spaced out on his bed and ended up thinking about him and Michael. Now that he had actually come to terms with the fact that he had a gay crush on his best friend, he actually thought more about him. About what they would do.

His face got red. **_“Well, that was a delayed response,”_**

Jeremy put his hand up to his face and growled. “What do I doooooo?”

**_“Tell him, because he likes you back you walnut, are you this oblivious?”_ **

“I did suspect! But I pushed it to the back of my mind because I didn’t think it would be true and I never admitted I had a crush on him. To me. I always thought I was kind of straight?” Why was he telling anyone this? Especially the Squip. Who was got to get him specifically with Christine, and we know how well that turned out.

**_“Poor Jere bear,”_ **

“You’re killing me. Every moment you egg on about this, you know?”

He smiled as sat down in front of Jeremy. **_“It’s not my fault you and Christine didn’t work out. I did help you get with her, in a way. But I can’t hope that it was only...twice? And you never kissed her?”_** He gasped.

Jeremy sarcastically laughed. “Yes, ha-ha, I’ve never kissed her, big deal. We’re just friends now anyway, so...”

**_“Jeremy, you’ve never kissed anyone!”_ **

“I,” Jeremy looked around and lowered his voice, “you should know that I’ve never kissed anyone!” The Squip looked at him like he was crazy, and then he laughed. “It’s not that funny you know! Other teens are getting laid, isn’t that what I got you for? To help me get into a relationship?”

**_“Jeremy, I can hear thoughts that surface. You don’t think about the fact that you don’t kiss often. You do, however, think about kissing Michael,”_ **

Jeremy opened his mouth to protest, but realized it would be useless. He crossed his arms. “Yeah,” He angrily muttered. He glared at the wall as if he wanted to melt it. Who would want to kiss him? And besides, it’s not like kissing was a big part of his life anyway.

But on the other hand, if he ever got with Michael, he at least wanted to know how. What to do. There’s really no tutorial for this, you just kind of wing it. The Squip broke his concentration. **_“You don’t even know how to do it?”_**

Jeremy growled, throwing his head on the wall, which was a bad idea because it started throbbing. Again. He winced and looked back at the Squip, who had a look of concern. “I’m fine,” He waved it off, putting his hand on the back of his head and rubbing, even though it didn’t help. It wasn’t on the outside. It was another headache. “I’m sure there are a lot of kids who don’t know,”

**_“There are probably more who know,”_ **

“Well! What am I supposed to do! The information isn’t going to fly in my head at the last minute!”

Everything was quiet for a minute. **_“Well, do you need someone to try it with?”_**

Jeremy made a noise of protest, even though it was kind of hard to tell what it was supposed to be. His face turned a little red. It became quiet again. Jeremy looked all around his room, for absolutely no reason. He didn’t know what the hell to do, what to say. It was a _friendly question_ but normal friends didn’t ask that kind of question! Usually! He knew what the Squip was implying, and even if he was just trying to help out...

They stared at each other for a minute. The Squip had a genuinely confused look on his face. Jeremy took a deep breath.

“It’ll look weird if I’m kissing the air!”

**_“Hey, it’s your choice. You can do it if you want, or never learn how to give Michael what he wants,”_ **

“Did you _want_ to kiss me? Man, like, I have a crush on _Michael,”_

**_“I don’t really think of you like that Jeremy, I just know that you would feel more comfortable if you could try it out and have someone tell you if you’re ready or not,”_ **

Jeremy looked out a window near his bed and rubbed the back of his neck. “And you’re the one to help me?”

**_“Do you have anyone else in mind?”_ **

“Do you really want to do this?”

**_“It’s not about me in the moment. I offered because I want to help you, and I know how to help you. You can still say no. I just want you to be happy Jeremy,”_ **

Jeremy sighed and looked around. “What about when my dad gets home? What if he sees us?”

**_“Well he won’t see me, he’ll see you making a fool of yourself,”_ **

Instead of chuckling, he looked down at the bed. A minute passed before he looked back up, took a deep breath, and slowly nodded. The Squip nodded back.

Jeremy closed his eyes tightly, not knowing exactly what to expect. He could feel warmth emanating off the Squip’s face as he got closer. _Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit._ He felt as the Squip surprisingly soft lips brush against his and accidently let out a soft whine of surprise, and his face got hot because of it, but the Squip didn’t seem to care. He wrapped his arms around Jeremy’s back to pull him closer. Both of their lips begin to part a bit.

The kiss lasted seconds but it felt like it was a lifetime and a half. Not that it was bad. Still, Jeremy didn’t know if he should say that it was good. _It would be better with Michael._ The Squip slowly pulled away, holding Jeremy at the waist. Both of them were blushing. Maybe Jeremy was blushing a little more. The Squip looked a little red, but it was not as if it meant anything. Right? They were just friends.

A few seconds after it was over, the Squip broke the silence.

 ** _“You remember what I did?”_** Jeremy nodded awkwardly. **_“Repeat that,”_**

“What?!”

**_“How am I supposed to know that you actually retained the information!”_ **

“By reading my mind?”

**_“Thinking that you retained the information and actually doing it are two different things,”_ **

They both got quiet and stared at each other. Jeremy prepared to say something, looked around the room, and forgot everything he was going to tell the Squip. He looked back and let out a deep breath before slowly inching towards the Squip’s face. Their noses touched, and Jeremy stopped and fell on his side, laughing. **_“What’s so funny?”_**

“I’m kissing the air. I’m preparing to kiss the air. That’s what it looks like,”

The Squip rolled his eyes but let out a chuckle anyway. **_“You’re such a child Jeremy,”_**

“But think about it and it’s _hilarious!_ ” Jeremy pushed himself up with a smile on his face. He looked at the Squip again before sighing and closing his eyes and falling towards the Squip, kissing him. It was interrupted by Jeremy’s smile. “I’m kissing the air,”

The Squip started laughing. **_“Don’t think about it, dork! Just do it,”_** But they couldn’t put their lips together for more than a second before both of them started laughing again. **_“Jeremy, stop that!”_**

“You’re laughing too, shut up!”

**_“Just get it over with and stop laughing!”_ **

Without a word, Jeremy quickly put his arms around the Squip’s neck and tried again. It worked. Jeremy remembered everything. Five seconds later Jeremy pulled away from the kiss without realizing and buried his face in the Squip’s shoulder, laughing again. The Squip started laughing. **_“You’re fucking hopeless Jeremy,”_**

“Hey, I did it right, didn’t I?”

**_“Yes. You did it right. I’m impressed,”_ **

The front door shut, which meant Mr. Heere was probably home, but Jeremy didn’t let go of the Squip and couldn’t stop laughing. The Squip was laughing too, but gently pushed Jeremy off him so it wouldn’t look like he was hugging the air. **_“Stop, your father’s home. Oh my god, you’re insane. You look insane,”_**

“How much do you think I actually care?”

“Jeremy?” Mr. Heere yelled from the other room. “Are you with Michael or something?”

**_“Geez, tell him you’re on the phone, at least,”_ **

Jeremy’s laughter started to die down and he slowly sat up. “I’m on the phone!” He yelled back. He was quiet, then looked back at the Squip, who was biting his tongue to try and keep himself from laughing. That made him start all over again, falling to the Squip and landing his head on him shoulder. The Squip nudged Jeremy to try and get him off but it didn’t work. He was laughing too.

“Eventful conversation...” Mr. Heere said before turning on the T.V.

**_“You look ridicules,”_ **

“You’re awesome, did you know that? You’re a great friend, actually,”

The Squip started to blush as he ruffled Jeremy’s hair. **_“I know,”_**

“I don’t know if you know this, but when someone compliments you, you normally say thank you,”

**_“I know,”_ **

Laughter died down again as Jeremy buried his face in the Squip’s shoulder once more and started hugging him. “You’re a fucking dork,” The Squip hugged back this time.

     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAy, okay look it's still platonic hewasjusthelpingabrooutlikenohomo


	8. He Won't Hurt Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took 7 pages on word, 2 naps, 3 juice boxes, and all of my tears. Take it

_Stop shaking so much. Control it._ Michael put his hands in his lap and held them together tightly. _You look ridiculous. You know that? Absolutely ridiculous._ Michael growled under his breath at himself and Jeremy raised his eyebrow in front of him. “You see, I- maybe...I mean, bro, we’ve been friends for, like, 12 years. And, well- like,” He rubbed the back of his neck and growled again. _He’s straight, Michael. You’re crushing on a straight guy._

“Is it bad?” Jeremy took in a breath. _Was he going to tell me today?_

**_“Of course. He’s trying to. There are important signs you need to look for. Michael is showing most of them,”_ **

_Most?_

Michael chuckled nervously. “Well, man, it’s not that bad, I mean, depending on what you think bad is,”

 ** _“There is a 93% chance that this is what he’s trying to tell you,”_** The Squip nudged Jeremy with his shoulder. **_“Maybe you should tell him first. Make it a little less awkward,”_**

_Ninety-three? Well what about the other seven?_

The Squip shrugged. **_“Life threatening disease?”_**

Jeremy rolled his eyes unconsciously. Michael’s face fell as he looked down, thinking Jeremy was upset with him. He stopped rubbing his neck. “Sorry,”

“Oh! Dude! No, I’m sorry, I wasn’t rolling my eyes at you! The Squip is...”

“Right,” Michael interrupted, “just because I can’t see him doesn’t make it an acceptable excuse. Just, say you’re disappointed or whatever that was for,”

Jeremy started to say something but the T.V in Michael’s basement turned on, the volume on mute. They both looked towards the screen. Static. **_“No, seriously Michael, I was trying to...help Jeremy,”_**

“Help him with what?”

The boys looked back at each other and Jeremy’s face turned a slight shade of pink. He inched the T.V remote towards him. “N-nothing! We were just, wondering, about what you were going to say!” He picked up the remote and turned off the T.V. _Knock it off._   

“Oh, well, I...” He trailed off and looked around the room, fidgeting with his hands. He looked back at Jeremy and let out a deep breath he was holding in. “Aretheotherscomingsoon? Like...have you texted them?” _Shit._

 _Shit._ Jeremy thought as he nodded his head. Today there would be no fire. No drinking, no...throwing pillows at Jeremy’s face. It was going to be ok. They would understand. And if they didn’t, well, it was time to get new friends. But it wouldn’t come to that. They all trusted Jeremy’s judgment, right? He would never do anything to hurt them.

...

Intentionally. He would never do anything to intentionally hurt anyone. Especially his closest friends.

...

Anymore.

They were going to meet up in Michael’s basement this time because Mr. Heere was home. Michael’s mom was home too but she didn’t really care what Michael was doing. Besides, she couldn’t hear anything that was happening in the basement. **_“Well if he’s not going to tell you, you need to tell him,”_**

_What?! I can’t tell him!_

**_“Why? You know he’s crushing on you,”_ **

_Well, what if we were...wrong?_

The Squip slapped his forehead and groaned. Jeremy ignored him and looked back at Michael, who was looking away and nervously rubbing his neck again. He put his hand on Michael’s shoulder and smiled when he looked back. “If you’re nervous about telling them, don’t worry,”

Michael chuckled. “It’s you who should be nervous,”

**_“I know I am,”_ **

“But I’m not really. We’ve been through a lot. If they can forgive me for what I did at the play, the can forgive the Squip,”

The T.V. turned back on. **_“Incorrect. I was the one who did all of it, not you. It’s a little harder to forgive me. I mean, it took Michael a long time,”_**

“I’m still not quite over it buddy,”

The Squip shrugged, even though Michael couldn’t see. **_“Understandable, I mean, I did a lot of stuff. Think about Rich, and the deal with his Squip. We’re un-redeemable to him. All of us,”_**

“But you’re not all alike,” Jeremy looked over to the Squip and Michael just followed his gaze. “We can make him see that. We can make them all see. You’ve changed so much since you came back,”

 ** _“Yes, but I can always say stuff but that’s just, talk. Words. They haven’t lived with me for the past few months, or, known about me for the past few months. I mean they haven’t gotten used to me,”_** Suddenly, Jeremy stared at the T.V, and didn’t stop. Michael tilted his head in confusion and pushed at his arm a bit. The Squip walked in front of Jeremy and put his hands on his shoulders. **_“Jeremy?”_**

“Dude?”

A minute later, Jeremy shook the ringing out of his ears and put pressure on the side of his head, which mildly hurt. He squeezed his eye shut for a second, then looked at Michael, then to the Squip. “I’m fine, sorry. Headaches are...weird...”

___

 

“Go Jeremy!” Jake whooped behind him.

“Go Michael!” Jenna yelled.

Jeremy grunted. “You’re supposed to be cheering for me!”

“Well, it’s not my fault you’re losing,”

Rich shouted next. “Drift!”

Jake slapped Jeremy’s shoulder and leaned in while Chloe, from the other side of the room, exclaimed in disappointment when Michael got hit with a green shell and fell behind. Michael growled. “C’mon,” He whispered as he moved along with the controller.

However, Jeremy passed him. He jumped up, putting his arms in the air and turning around as Rich started to clap and Christine smiled, giving a thumb up before continuing her conversation with Jenna.

“Whatever. I’m just done,” Michael chuckled.

“Boo!” Chloe exclaimed. 

He turned around to sit down but Jake was already in his seat and Brooke jumped up, running to Michael’s seat. “My turn!”

“You’re on, blondie,”

She plopped down in the seat as Michael walked towards Jeremy and put his hand on his shoulder, leaning in close. “So how do you want to tell them?”

“Maybe if we could just get the Squip to talk and freak everyone out,” Jeremy jokingly looked over to the Squip, who could do nothing but shake his head. Since the T.V was on, he couldn’t speak without his voice coming through and scaring everyone. “Does anyone have a radio upstairs?” Jeremy whispered.

Michael nodded slowly, but put his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder when he tried to move. “Mom will hear us up there, or someone will. I think we should stay down here and try to figure it out. Can the Squip type?”

Jeremy looked back at the Squip who nodded. He did the same and looked back at Michael. “But it will be imposable to get him to type on your phone or something and not have someone notice,”

“Get her babe!” Rich yelled.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Michael shrugged. The Squip tapped on Jeremy’s shoulder. When Jeremy looked back, the Squip pointed to the T.V.

Jake and Brooke’s game was almost over. He looked back at Michael. “That’s it. The T.V. When they’re done, we’ll just say that we have an announcement? And, I-I guess the Squip will do its thing from there...”

“Who does what thing?” Jeremy jumped at Christine’s voice. Jenna was behind her.

“How long have you guys been listening?” Michael almost yelled.

“We just got here, chill,” Jenna said before looking at the T.V. “I think Jake’s going to win,”

“Don’t underestimate my power,” Brooke yelled back.

Jeremy’s stomach turned. “Wait, you all can _hear_ us?”

“Mm, we’ve been tuning you out,” Chloe said. Michael, Jeremy, and the Squip let out a small sigh. But it was small enough that no one could hear. The Squip walked towards the T.V and sat beside it, waiting for the game to be over. Jake passed Brooke, jumped up, and bowed, before kissing Rich. Chloe walked over to Brooke and hugged her. “You tried,”

“Alright, you’re next,” Jake pushed Rich gently to the seat.

“Hell yeah!”

“Actually,” Jeremy yelled. Everyone stopped and looked at him, causing Jeremy’s whole face to go red. Michael walked behind him and started to hold his hand. He took a deep breath. “T-turn the game of-f for a second,”  

Chloe wasted no time in turning off the T.V.  

 ** _“Oh thank god,”_** The Squip exclaimed, no longer having to worry about his voice coming through the T.V.

“Are you ok Jeremy?” Brooke asked. Christine put the back of her hand on Jeremy’s forehead. Probably thinking he was sick.

He chuckled a little. “I’m good, Christine,”

“Oh,” She mumbled, putting her hand down.

Jeremy looked at the Squip pleadingly, not caring if anyone saw. Jenna looked in the same direction, then back at Jeremy with her eyebrow raised. **_“Start off however you feel like, Jeremy. Like, do you trust me? Or something like that,”_**

“Do, you guys t-trust me? I mean, you- Like, I k-know, I just...” He trailed off and Michael gently squeezed his hand a bit. 

“Dude, you’re kind of freaking me out,” Jake said.

Michael spoke up. “Jeremy...and I...asked you to come over today so, he can tell you something. That’s been bugging him,”

“Then spit it out,” Jenna said, arms crossed. “Sorry, that probably came out ruder than I meant it to,”

“Jeremy, we’re here to help you,”

“Always here, _Heere,”_ Rich winked. However, Michael was the only one who let out a little chuckle, nudging Jeremy’s shoulder. But Jeremy was still quiet, looking at the ground, then at the Squip.

 ** _“Repeat, Jeremy. And just keep looking at me, ok?”_** Jeremy nodded and looked forward. **_“The play wasn’t the end of it...”_**

“The play wasn’t t-the end of it...” Jeremy nervously repeated.  

Rich’s face became pale, but everyone else looked confused. “ _Jeremy,”_ He whispered.

**_“Do you remember what I told you about the Squip?”_ **

Jeremy stopped, taking in a shaky breath. He looked around the room. Rich looked like he was about to pass out. “D...do you r-remember what I, told you guys?” He softy squeezed at Michael’s hand. He looked around the room again. Chloe slowly shook her head. “T-the... _Squip?”_

It clicked. Brooke gasped over dramatically and put her hands to her mouth.

“Oh my god, _Jeremy,”_

“Why didn’t you tell us earlier?”

“Oh god, can you get rid of it?”

He didn’t know who was saying what. Rich ran up to him and started stuttering, holding onto Jeremy’s shoulders. “Are you ok? Is there a way to get rid of it? Have you tried more Mt. Dew Red?” He spoke quickly and shook him a little. Jeremy took another breath. _And what comes next will probably be harder._ He looked over at the Squip. Rich looked back too.

**_“Do you trust me? Say it clearer this time,”_ **

Jeremy cleared his throat and looked back at Rich, who was looking at him again. Everyone was still talking, until Jeremy spoke up again. “But do you trust me?”

Rich tilted his head. “Do I believe that it’s back?”

“N-no,” Jeremy looked away at Christine. “I mean, do you trust my judgement?” He looked back.

“Why would that be a question in this situation?”

“Because I’m not getting rid of it,”

Immediately, Rich let go of Jeremy. “What?”

“Look. We tried, there’s no...getting rid of it, BUT, it’s not as bad as you think!”

“Jeremy, the thing almost enslaved the school!” Jenna snapped. _Shit._

“Yeah, but it’s not like that anymore,”

Brooke chuckled timidly. She looked around the room. “I...Jeremy. It, like,”

Chloe interrupted. “It broke her heart,”

“Just listen,”

“Jeremy, things like that don’t change,” Rich almost yelled. “We need to get it out of you. No matter what it said! I refuse to stand by and watch you be destroyed,”

Jeremy whined. “He won’t hurt me!”

The T.V. turned on to static. Suddenly, the Squip started speaking. Everyone jumped a little. **_“I’m so sorry Rich, about what you had to go through with your own Squip, and what everyone else had to go through, but I’m not like that! I wouldn’t hurt Jeremy! ...Anymore,”_**

“What. The. Fuck.” Rich backed himself up to the stairs. Wide eyes on the T.V.

“See?” Jeremy exclaimed.

“Keanu Reeves?” Brooke asked. Chloe put her arms around Brooke and the two started backing away from the T.V.

“Holy shit,” Jenna breathlessly whispered.

Jake took a step towards Rich, looking back and forth between him and the T.V. He finally looked at Jeremy.

“What. The. FUCK.” Rich said again. He looked at Jeremy. “Jeremy, how are you not terrified right now?!”

“Michael?” Christine asked from behind Jeremy.

**_“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I did, I am! You need to believe me!”_ **

“You’re designed to trick,” Rich said. He looked back at Jeremy. “You can’t believe him. He’s lying! Jeremy, this thing will take over you’re entire life,”

Michael walked away to Christine, letting go of Jeremy’s hand. He squeezed it shut. His nails dug into his palms. “I trust Jeremy,”

Jake walked towards Rich until he put his arm on his shoulder. Rich looked furiously at Jeremy. “There has to be a way to get rid of it! We can find it together. You shouldn’t...This thing- it’s not here to help! Or play games!”

“He said sorry...” Jeremy started to argue.

“They’re just words, Jeremy. Come here and we’ll start to get rid of it! You can be better. You _are_ better than this,” He held out his hand. Jeremy looked at it. Then back at the Squip who didn’t have an emotion. _Words. They’re just words._ He looked up at Rich and saw fear in his eyes. Fear for Jeremy. Fear for his other friends. The kind of fear that can start a fire. _What if he’s right?_

**_“Jeremy trusts me!”_ **

“Shut up!” Jenna yelled.

Chloe quickly ran upstairs and Brooke followed closely behind. “It’s literally Keanu Reeves Chlo!”   

“I-I...” Christine stuttered. “I _trust_ you guys, but...”

“Guys, come upstairs. To my house. We’ll work on a way to get it out of him. You can go back to normal, isn’t that good? It feels good! Come on Jeremy, we can’t let it hurt you,”

**_“Please. You can’t believe this. You can’t...”_ **

“But what if...” Jeremy took in a deep breath. “What if Rich is right? What if you’re _lying?_ I wouldn’t know, I would never...”

The Squip interrupted him. **_“That’s a risk you just have to take. Jeremy, I promise I’m not lying. Think about the past few months. I’ve been there for you, doing nothing but trying to make you happy, comfortable! I’ve tried to help you in so many ways. When you didn’t want to talk to me, I didn’t make you. When you didn’t want to do something, I didn’t make you,”_**

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re planning but how do you know? Jeremy, how do you know that it’s not a lie? You can lie and lie and lie, and do so much to validate it. You can change yourself into a different person and lie. To someone’s face. How do you know if that’s not _exactly_ what he’s doing?”

 _Fuck, they both have good points._ Jeremy took a deep breath, looking in-between Rich and the Squip. Jenna growled and walked upstairs, mumbling something. Christine and Michael were still behind him. Jake looked at Jeremy too. Finally, Jeremy said something. “Well, how do you know that it is a lie?”

Rich’s face changed from a concerned one to one of disgust. His face got red and he narrowed his eyes. Two seconds passed and he started stomping up the stairs. Jake ran behind him. “Babe wait! I _know_ you’re upset but...” He disappeared before Jeremy could hear the rest. The door slammed and Mrs. Mell yelled from upstairs.

“Michael, I don’t know _what_ is going on down there but if another one of your friends slams the door I swear to god, you’ll be paying for any damage!”

Nobody moved or said a word. Christine was still there. Michael was still there. The Squip was still there. It took Jeremy a full minute to realize tears were falling down his face and he had lost most of his friends to a supercomputer again.

 


	9. Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is hella short but I couldn't WAIT to post it. You all are going to LOVE it :) :) :) :) :) :)

The Squip never talks to Jeremy. Not because he doesn’t want to, of course. Jeremy just never talks to the Squip. Days after the incident, one single thought flew through Jeremy’s head. _How do I know you’re not lying?_ He would ask himself.

The Squip would answer. **_You don’t Jeremy. I guess you just need to trust me._**

Jeremy thought and thought about why he trusted the Squip. Why he shouldn’t, why he should, and thought it was best if the Squip didn’t talk to him until he figured it out. So, the Squip just didn’t talk to him. Which confused Jeremy more. I mean, why would someone untrustworthy try to make Jeremy feel comfortable? But what if it was just an act?

He spent most of his time with Michael to take his mind off everything, and a bit with Christine, who oddly didn’t hate him. Whenever he hung out with them, they would never talk about the Squip, or what happened on the day Jeremy tried to tell everyone. Christine wanted to forget about it. She trusted Jeremy, and knew he was going to be ok. Well, she didn’t know, but she made it clear that if Jeremy wasn’t ok, she would do her best to help.

Michael just noticed that Jeremy wasn’t talking about or to the Squip anymore, and didn’t ask why for a while, just because he thought they got into an argument and needed some time to themselves. Which wasn’t far from what happened. A week after the incident, Michael tried to bring up the topic, but Jeremy shut him down quickly. In the corner, the Squip’s face fell.

His first friend. His _only_ friend didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. He wasn’t just ignoring him. Jeremy _saw_ the Squip, but never _looked_ at him. His eyes glazed by like he was nothing but air. Like he couldn’t even see him. **_I’m so sorry Michael._** He thought, finally understanding exactly what he did to Michael as he watched the two laugh and push each other’s shoulders, joking about the new game they were playing or something that happened years ago. Like the Squip was never even a part of their lives.  

**_I’m sorrier than I’ve ever been._ **

What hurt worse is that Jeremy was reverting back to his routine of nightly panic attacks, and the Squip could do nothing but watch as Jeremy slipped out the window and ran to Michael’s house frantically. Sometimes in the rain. Michael always let him in and took his mind off of everything, just like any friend would.

The Squip wouldn’t know what was going on with Jeremy and why he was having panic attacks until he talked to Michael, which was weird for him. He was so used to knowing, but now he couldn’t read his mind anymore.

Everything was gone.

The Squip could occasionally hear Jeremy’s thoughts screaming at him during a panic attack, or as soon as one was about to start, but could never make out what it was screaming. Jeremy’s headaches got worse. His ears started ringing more. He felt weaker. But Jeremy pushed all these feelings aside and refused to think anything was wrong with him. And the Squip couldn’t tell him that something was _desperately wrong._  

He tried. Two days after the incident.

He tried, but Jeremy wouldn’t listen to him.

He tried, but Jeremy yelled at him.

And that was the day the Squip learned that there were two kinds of hurt. Maybe three. _He_ hurt emotionally, Jeremy hurt physically, and he hurt because Jeremy was hurting, and he couldn’t help. Could he? He started to believe that there had to be something he could do. He was stronger now. He could type, think for himself, move objects, wear cloths, and talk out of a radio.

So, what if he put all those things together and looked for a cure for Jeremy? The tricky part was that he couldn’t let Jeremy know what he was doing. The Squip _had_ to get rid of Jeremy’s headaches, his panic attacks, his depression. He had to get Jeremy’s life back on track. No matter what it took. No matter if he had to hurt himself to help Jeremy. Jeremy who trusted him, at one point. Who was his friend at one point. Who taught him more than any coding or book could have.  

That was the day the Squip started looking for answers, and found them.


	10. The Guy I Am Totally Into

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was honestly so hard to write

Michael and Jeremy lay on Michael’s bed with a loss of stuff to do. They tried playing video games, but one minute in and Jeremy’s head felt like it was about to explode. From the noise, the visuals, they couldn’t figure it out, but video games were out of the question. The Squip, who found out he could just go where ever he wanted, stayed home all day. Of course, there were restrictions on where the Squip could go and could not go. If he was too far he might hurt Jeremy or himself. But being at home while Jeremy was at Michael’s was ok.

The two shared words once or twice, but mostly sat in silence. Jeremy looked like he was about to doze off. His held onto a pillow for comfort and faced a wall, curled up so his knees touched the pillow he was holding. Michael was on his back, staring at the ceiling. His hands supported his head. He would close his eyes to rest them, and look like he was sleeping, but if Jeremy mode the slightest movement or noise, they flew up.

He knew there was something wrong with Jeremy. This had never happened before. And it wasn’t like it was a normal sickness. He looked fine and his temperature was fine, but his head was killing him and his ears would start ringing to the point where he couldn’t hear anything else, and it wouldn’t stop for a few minutes. He was weaker in his ability to do stuff. Moving, holding, pushing. Even standing sometimes.

It wasn’t that bad now. They would only come in bursts throughout the day. Jeremy could be fine at 10 but terrible at 10:30, then back to normal at 10:50. Sometimes it lasted for only a few minutes, sometimes up to an hour, it didn’t affect Jeremy all the time. But if they didn’t find help soon, Michael feared it could get worse.    

And, as far as he knew, Michael was the only one of the two that cared. Jeremy passed it off saying ‘Headaches are normal’ or ‘I’m just a little tired’, he never seemed to want any help for it and he didn’t want anyone to worry. It was all in Jeremy’s head, literally, every source of his problem. You know who else was? The Squip, Michael thought as his eyes opened again.

“Are you asleep?” Jeremy mumbled. At first, Michael thought it was just his imagination.

He turned over on his side to face Jeremy. “N-no. Need anything?”

Jeremy growled then turned over to Michael, sleepily putting his arm around his side and resting his other arm below Michael’s chin. He moved closer so his head was on his hand and underneath Michael’s. His knees were gently pressed against Michael’s stomach. Michael’s face turned bright red. “Jere Bear? You ok?”

Jeremy mumbled something unintelligible. “Are you ok?” He asked.

“Hey, this is happening to you, not me. I’m just here because I want to be here for you. Are _you_ ok?” He asked again.  

“My headache is gone,” Jeremy mumbled.

“Good,”

Michael was still expecting more but nothing came for a few minutes. “Michael?” Jeremy asked.

“Mhm?”

He moved his knees up like he was trying to curl up in a ball. “That day when we told everyone about the Squip, before that, you were trying to tell me something important...” Michael opened his mouth to say something, but Jeremy interrupted. “And don’t say it wasn’t important because I know it was,”

Michael closed his mouth. _Shit. Now? Fuck._ He closed his eyes and let out deep breath. _He’s going to sleep anyway. Didn’t you hear him? He’s like, half-way there._ He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes, he found that Jeremy was looking straight at him. _Shit._ He looked away for a minute.

“Michael?” Jeremy asked. Jeremy was blushing. “Just say whatever you want to say. I mean, it it’s bad, I’ll forgive you. You know I will. I just want to know what’s going on with you,”

“Then, you have to tell me what’s going on with you,” He held his breath.

Jeremy looked down. “Nothing’s wrong with me,”

Michael sighed and lifted Jeremy’s face to meet his own eyes. “That’s bullshit and you know it. You need to acknowledge that something’s going on. You’re tired a lot, you get a lot of headaches,”

“Natural,” Jeremy interrupted

“See? And then you pass it off like it’s nothing!”

Jeremy broke out of Michael’s grasp and looked over to the wall. “Because it’s nothing,”

“Jeremy...” Michael whined.

Jeremy sat up and moved to the corner of the bed, hugging his knees. “It’s nothing! Headaches are natural and so is being tired! I guess, I’m just getting to that age,”

Michael pulled himself up and sat in front of him. “That’s bullshit too. You’re still a teenager. I’m still a teenager. Something else is going on. What about the ringing in your ears?”

“That just- “

“And it isn’t all the time, right?” Michael interrupted. Jeremy was about to say something before he shut his mouth and looked away. “You don’t feel like shit exactly but you don’t feel good either. It’s like you’re just out of it. It’s not normal Jeremy, you know that right? It’s really not normal. Something is wrong and I want to help but I can’t help you if you’re not even going to acknowledge that you need help,”

They were silent for a minute before Jeremy rubbed his forehead. “Since when did this became about me?” _I need to hear it._

“What?”

“We were talking about what you wanted to tell me on that day,” _I don’t want to be wrong._

“Jeremy,”

“Why is it so hard to tell me whatever you needed to tell me? I know it’s important,”

They sat in silence again. Jeremy kept his eyes on Michael while Michael was looking all around the room, rubbing his neck again. He looked back at Jeremy and would try to start talking, but whenever he tried, he couldn’t find the right words and just sighed. Michael stuttered. He looked over at the clock. It was 11 at night. The sun was already down. It was too late to be doing this kind of stuff. Michael sighed. “Jeremy, I don’t want to ruin our friendship. It already almost happened once,”

Jeremy sighed. “Yeah, I don’t want to do that either,” He trailed off and looked around the room again, before looking at Michael. “My symptoms aren’t normal Michael, but I don’t know what they are or where they’re coming from. I don’t know how you can help. And I know that...they...I mean, it feels like they’re from...” He trailed off again, rubbing the back of his neck.

“The Squip?” Michael interrupted. Jeremy looked back at him. His expression was concerned.

“Yeah...” He said quietly. “I don’t want to hurt him though...”

“I don’t want to hurt him either. I mean, if you don’t want to. I want to make you happy and,”

Jeremy smiled and chuckled a little. “Michael,”

“Yeah?”

He put his arm on Michael’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about him, he’s fine,”

Michael scoffed. “I’m not worried! He’s a SUPERCOMPUTER, he can handle whatever happens to him!”

“Michael,”

He looked down and held in his breath. When he looked back up, Jeremy had a smug grin on his face. “Ok, I care a little,” Jeremy chuckled. “It’s just a little! He’s still a dick, it’s not like we’re _friends_ or anything. I can’t even see him half the time!”  

“Whatever Michael, whatever floats your boat,”

“I-!”

Jeremy interrupted him. “Now that I told you what’s wrong with me, you tell me what’s wrong with you,” He put his hand back around his knees.

Michael got quiet again and started to look down, but he caught himself, looking back at Jeremy. He started to stutter again. _Oh my GOD! You loser! He told you what’s going on with him. Man the fuck up!_ He growled. “Jeremy, I don’t want to ruin what we have,” He stopped. Jeremy nodded, moving to sit on his own legs. “So when I say this it’s ok if you don’t...” He trailed off, scoffing at himself and looking in a different direction. _He’s straight. He’s STRAIGHT!_ His mind yelled at him.

Jeremy started to smile. _He does! He was trying to tell me that day!_ He could imagine the Squip yelling at him for being so dumb. When Michael looked back, all he could see was Jeremy smiling like crazy. He raised his eyebrows.

 _Oh my god, he’s caught on. He hates me._ “Shit, Jeremy, I mean like-“ He looked around the room. “I _do,_ like, I MEAN, but if you DON’T that-“ He was cut off by Jeremy’s lips pressing into his. His face got red and the butterflies in his stomach started to go crazy. _Not straight. Not straight!_ He closed his eyes and moved in closer to Jeremy, putting his arms around his back before the two fell backwards on his bed. Jeremy put his arms around Michael’s back and slipped it up to mess with his hair. They pulled away slowly to reveal that both of them were smiling like crazy. “You...?” Michael asked in a whisper.

Jeremy giggled before answering back. “I love you too Michael,” He kissed Michael again.

___

 

3 am. Michael was facing Jeremy, smiling at the boy sleeping soundly in his arms. He moved a piece of hair from his face, stroking his cheek and lightly kissed his forehead before pulling his own arm out from under Jeremy and putting on his jacket. He stood up walking upstairs quietly. Michael’s parents were probably doing something important, so he didn’t need to worry about them They were rarely home anyway.

He shuffled to the kitchen and picked up a glass, looking out the window. He squinted. Across the road, was a floating jacket. Jeremy’s floating jacket. It waved. Michael rolled his eyes, filling the cup with water, and leaving it on the counter. He ran back downstairs, looking at Jeremy who was still sleeping soundly, grabbed his phone and ran back up.

Michael grabbed his water and ran out to the Squip. He grabbed the Squip’s arm and walked him away from the road. He sat his water down on a rock and turned on his phone, holding it up between both of them.

**_“Michael, I need help,”_ **

“Why haven’t I heard anything about you or what’s been happening until now? Jeremy just told me that he thinks there’s something wrong with him and he thinks that it might be _your_ fault,” He paused, looking up and down. He could only see the jacket. “Also, creepy, man. Can’t you wear like, full clothes and a mask?”

 ** _“That would be creepy too,”_** Michael shrugged. **_“And Jeremy was right, I think it’s because I’m sort of, like, part of him right now,”_**

They both got quiet. Michael looked down at his water. “Well...” he looked back up at the Squip, “what do you think we should do?”

The Squip took a deep breath. **_“I have a plan. But Jeremy is going to hate it.”_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good thing it's over :) :) :)


	11. Tattle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *smiling at my laptop while house is burning behind me* This is fine

4 am. Michael sighed, tapping the table in a rhythm. A cell phone was in the middle of the table, screen off, but it was playing Bob Marley on a low volume. The Squip sat on the other side in Jeremy’s jacket. “Jeremy is sleeping downstairs, you need to be kind of quiet. Why don’t you take the jacket off in case he comes up?”

 ** _“Alright,”_** He cleared his throat, setting the jacket on the back of the chair. He looked back at Michael. ** _“I think I know how to help him, but I don’t know what, I mean...”_** He took a deep breath. **_“Ok, so when I was more connected to Jeremy, I could read his mind,”_**

Michael snickered. “And how was that?”

 ** _“Painful. But now I can focus more on myself, so...”_** He trailed off.

“So?” Michael shrugged.

**_“Well, I’ve been thinking. More for myself. And, I’ve figured it out. I’m sort of a part of Jeremy, but Mountain Dew, red or green, for some reason, just made me stronger. I don’t get it either but it did. Now it’s just, it just, keeps going I guess. I just keep getting stronger, and taking Jeremy’s strength or something to compensate for my own,”_ **

“Jesus Christ...” Michael mumbled.

Michael couldn’t see, but the Squip nodded. **_“And with his head. Man, I think I’m...taking it. Michael, I’m not becoming my own person. When he gets weak enough, I think I’m going to become him, against my will,”_**

Michael’s breathing stopped for a minute. His squinted at the Squip he couldn’t see, then jumped up. His chair fell over. “What the _FUCK?_ What the fuck! What does that _mean_??” He slammed his hands on the table. 

**_“Michael, volume!”_ **

“Sorry, sorry,” He shook his head. “Well how do you stop it!?”

**_“I don’t know. That’s why I need your help,”_ **

Michael rubbed his forehead. “Fuck. This shit is _fucked,_ ” He walked over to the fridge and looked inside. Unknown to Michael, the Squip raised his eyebrow as Michael pulled out a piece of leftover cake.

**_“Michael what are you doing?”_ **

He closed the fridge and set the cake on the table, pushing his chair back up. “Stress eating,”

**_“Oh. Well. Don’t,”_ **

He got a fork and started eating already. “You’re not my dad,”

The Squip sighed. **_“It’s unhealthy. You’re going to be fat if you keep doing this,”_**

“Can’t break what’s already broken,”

He sighed again. **_“Michael, I...look- you’re not...can we get back to the task at hand?”_**

“Sure,” He mumbled, mouth full of cake.  

**_“Michael this is important!”_ **

“Hey, I’m not denying that fact!”

**_“Then take it seriously! If we don’t help Jeremy soon he could die!”_ **

“I _know_ that! But you know yourself more than I know you! I don’t know what to do, how do we stop it?”

**_“I don’t know!”_ **

Michael set down his fork and laid his head on the table in his own arms. The two were quiet for a long time. The Squip would occasionally tap at the table. “So that’s it?” Michael mumbled from his arms. “He’s just going to die?”

 ** _“Unless I do first...”_** The Squip said uncertainly. Michael slowly raised his head.

“You’re not going to die. Shut up man, we’re going to find a way to help you both,”

The Squip shrugged, even though no one could see. **_“There’s no other way. I-“_**

“Dude, _shut up,_ ” Michael interrupted, “we’re going to help you _both_ and no one is going to die, ok?” He leaned back and started to rub the back of his neck. Easier said than done. He needed to weaken the Squip without killing him, so he would go back to just being inside Jeremy’s brain and everything would be ok. He stopped and looked at the phone. “Just, a question,” he put his hands down and shrugged, “how, _do_ you die?”

The Squip sighed, looked around, and started fidgeting with his hands. None of which Michael could see. He stuttered a bit and tapped at the floor with his foot. **_“You...you can’t tell Jeremy...”_** Michael raised an eyebrow. The Squip let out a breath as Michael nodded. **_“I would deactivate myself,”_**

“Wait, you can _do_ that?”

**_“I only found out recently. Even though I was kind of powerful, I was never powerful enough to deactivate myself, but now I can. It wouldn’t hurt Jeremy, I don’t think. He would go back to normal,”_ **

“Don’t. Don’t deactivate yourself. Is there a way we could, I don’t know, get you weaker and Jeremy stronger without deactivating yourself?”

**_“Well, I don’t actually know,”_ **

Michael nodded over and over. “Right, right, right,”

**_“Are you ok?”_ **

“No,” He said quickly. He started to chuckle anxiously. “We can’t let you...do _that._ That would...no...”

The Squip smiled smugly, knowing Michael couldn’t see him. **_“I thought you didn’t care if I left or not. Weren’t you the one who wanted to get rid of me in the first place? Mr. I-Will-Never-Be-Your-Friend?”_**

He growled and his face reddened. “Shut up,” Michael picked up his fork and waved it in the air. “How would you even do that? Deactivate yourself? Is that even possible? Why didn’t you do that when you _wanted_ to go away? I mean, great that you didn’t but how was that...” He trailed off looking at the phone then up at the Squip. “How do you do that?”

The Squip put his hands up in the air defensively, even though he was still smiling. **_“I would deactivate myself by going into a sleep like state and reverting into my code, then destroying it by rewriting it. It’s basically like suicide,”_**

“Basically? Dude, that _is_ suicide. Don’t do that,”

**_“Yeah, I know”_ **

Michael took in and let out a breath slowly, making his shoulders fall. He ate a little of his cake while the Squip rolled his eyes. “Can we try, I don’t know, rewriting half way?”

**_“That...sounds like a good idea...”_ **

“Well, do you have a clue on how we would do that?”

The Squip scoffed. **_“I don’t fucking know. I only know how to rewrite all of the code, and get myself out of Jeremy’s brain for good,”_**

Michael rolled his eyes. “Ok, well, how did you figure out how to do that?”

**_“Ok, something in the Mountain Dew activated me, the first time Jeremy took it. It planted my actual code in his brain. The Red Mountain Dew wiped most of that out but not all of it. That’s why I’m still here. And it’s like an illness, next time you get it, it will be stronger. However, instead of just getting stronger and resisting the Mountain Dew, it reverted to how it was supposed to act in the beginning and made_ me _stronger. So if I just rewrote the code to make me weaker to Mountain Dew, it wouldn’t cope again. So even if Jeremy didn’t drink Mountain Dew, it would kill me,”_**

Michael stopped, put his hands up in defense, put them back down, looked around the room, peaked over to see if anyone was at the door, then looked back over to where he thought the Squip was. He shrugged. “ _What?”_

**_“I don’t know man, I’m from Japan. I don’t get me,”_ **

“Well,” Michael looked around him, like he was still expecting Jeremy to appear behind him. “We could try,”

 ** _“I guess we could...”_** The Squip trailed off, looking at Michael. He looked at the Squip, or where he thought it would be, then looked around the room. He looked at the phone, chuckled a bit, and then looked back up at the Squip. Michael shrugged. **_“Oh, wait. Oh, you mean try it now?”_**

He nodded. “Yeah?”

**_“Do you know how incredibly stupid that is?”_ **

“Incredibly stupid is my middle name. Come on. We gotta test it out,”

**_“Michael, this is the kind of thing we have to plain out,”_ **

“No we don’t,” Michael started to whisper, even though no one was listening. He made a gesture to the basement door. “Jeremy is asleep. This is the _perfect_ time,”

 ** _“What if something goes wrong?”_**  

“Then we make it right. If something happens, I can help. With you or Jeremy. I promise, we just need to try,” The Squip looked down, then back up. Michael took another bite of cake, resting his elbows on the table. He put his fork down and held his head in his hands, looking at the phone on the table. He shook his head a little. “Squip, look, I want to help Jeremy and I guess I want to help you as well, and we need to do it ASAP,”

The Squip rolled his eyes and picked up Jeremy’s jacket, setting it on the table. **_“If something goes wrong, I’m going to blame you,”_**

Michael shrugged. “That’s fair,”

 ** _“Alright,”_** The Squip sighed. **_“Here we go,”_** He sat back down, concentrating on the table. He closed his eyes and took a few breaths before he stopped completely. Michael quickly took a few more bites of his cake before looking back again to where the Squip was. He slowly stood up and picked up Jeremy’s jacket, throwing it on the Squip’s head. It worked. He was still there. Just not conscious.

The Squip was very awake, very alive, inside his own mind. If you could even call it his mind. It was very much like a mind, but it also wasn’t. He was a computer. He didn’t have a mind, he shouldn’t think for himself, but he did, he thought scornfully. I’m an error. The thought made him shudder as he opened his eyes and looked out into himself, frozen. He wasn’t used to the feeling of self-hate.

Nothing was there but absolutely everything was there. Physically, he could see very little but he knew he was surrounded by code. His code. Everything that made him, him. And it was in his hands already. He could crush it, end it, just like that. No one would know. Jeremy would wake up feeling fine, and he would be fine for the rest of his life without the Squip. He could live without the Squip.

He stood there, floating or visualizing himself there, and it would be a lie if he said he wasn’t thinking about ending it all in that moment.    

In the physical world, Michael snapped his fingers in front of the Squip’s face, made visible by Jeremy’s jacket. He stood up and looked out the window. “Well, he’s dead,” Michael pronounced to an empty room. He walked around to the basement and poked his head down. Jeremy was still on the bed, sleeping soundly. He looked over to the alarm clock. 4:25. It’s really been 25 minutes? He got back up and walked over to the kitchen again, sitting down with his cake.

He looked back up at the Squip, who still hadn’t moved an inch. Taking another small bite of cake, he looked at his phone on the middle of the table. Two seconds went by. His slid out of his seat and laid on the floor, looking at the ceiling, singing to himself quietly.

A minute passed. The Squip snapped up, and something fell on the floor downstairs. Michael popped up and saw the jacket fall off the Squip. “Whatdidyado?”  

**_“Nothing! I-“_ **

Both their heads turned to the basement door as Jeremy yelled a bit. “Michael!”

They rushed downstairs so fast, the two almost tripped down the stairs over each other. Jeremy was laying on the floor beside the bed, curled into a ball, holding his head, groaning quietly. The Squip stayed behind but Michael rushed towards Jeremy, lifting him up in his arms. “Buddy! Jere! You ok? Listen? Are you ok?” He made shushing noises as he bent down and kissed Jeremy’s cheek. “I’m here...I’m here...”

He looked up at the Squip in confusion who he could only see because he was holding Jeremy’s jacket on his shoulders. The Squip shrugged, but god knows how it looked to Michael. Michael made sure his hand was over Jeremy’s ear before he spoke. “We need to talk again,”

“Hm?” Jeremy mumbled.

Michael shushed again. “Quiet, Jere. It’s ok, nobody said anything,”

“Is Squip here?”

The Squip put on Jeremy’s jacket quickly and turned on the T.V. He walked over and put his hand on Jeremy’s arm. **_“I’m here, do you need anything?”_**

“Are you ok?” Jeremy mumbled, slowing his breathing.

The Squip looked up at Michael, who was looking at him. He looked back down at Jeremy. **_“I’m...I’m ok bud, why are you asking?”_**

“And Michael’s ok?”

“Yeah, I’m alright. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Jeremy sighed, trembling, and pulled his knees closer to his face. **_“You cold?”_** The Squip asked, taking off Jeremy’s jacket and trying to lay it on Jeremy. But Jeremy weakly swatted at his hand, and missed.

Jeremy talked quickly. “No, because then Michael can’t see you,”

**_“But he knows I’m here,”_ **

“Yeah,” Michael whispered, playing with Jeremy’s hair.

**_“And it’s your jacket anyway,”_ **

Jeremy stopped fighting and let the Squip lay the jacket over him. He started resting on Michael’s thigh and he moved his arm to support his head, leaving his hand to lay on the floor beside the Squip’s. “Are you ok Jeremy?” He said nothing. Didn’t even nod. “Jere Bear?” Michael asked, moving his leg a bit.

“Hm?”

“Are you just tired?”

“Hm,”

“And you want to go to sleep here?”

“Hm,”

“On the floor?”

“Hm,”  

Michael looked back up at the Squip, or where the Squip was sitting before. He looked around himself before the Squip talked. **_“I’m still where I was Michael,”_**

“Squip?” Jeremy mumbled sleepily.

**_“Yeah bud?”_ **

“Stay here,”

Jeremy moved a little and his hand brushed against the Squip’s and Jeremy weakly held onto his ring finger with his own index finger. The Squip chuckled a little, moving his hand closer so Jeremy could know that he was still there. Jeremy didn’t hesitate to intertwine his own fingers with the Squip’s. **_“Yeah. Ok,”_**

In a few minutes, Jeremy fell sound asleep, while the Squip and Michael talked until Michael rested his head against the bedside and fell asleep too. The Squip, unable to fall asleep for a while, leaned against the wall, without letting go of Jeremy, and watched both of them with a smile on his face. Soon, he fell asleep too. The three didn’t wake up until 2 pm.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I just decided to live a normal life instead of getting emotional over supercomputers and listening to a grown man sing 'kinky' on repeat as I lay on the floor and wonder how I can break another person's heart by fanfiction. Side note, anytime I listen to anything I just hear Will Roland sing 'kinky' and it's a problem help


	12. I'd Trade My Life For Yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told my brother exactly what happens in this chapter when he walked in on me writing and he just whispered "Why..."  
> "Why would you do that..."

The Squip quickly learned two things. One, Jeremy was only getting worse, and two, he couldn’t explore his code unless Jeremy was asleep. And Jeremy couldn’t sleep well after that night. It was two weeks later, and the Squip and Michael had been talking a lot more. They figured out that there was no way the Squip could only rewrite half of himself. It was an all or nothing experience. The two were faced with a choice. The Squip, or Jeremy.

And the Squip had already decided. Jeremy.

Michael was on the Squip’s side too, although he never stopped thinking about a way he could let both of them survive. He desperately tried to get the Squip to change his mind, and look for another way. If they could only have a little more time. But one of them had to leave soon. If the Squip didn’t deactivate himself, Jeremy would die in a matter of two months. 

The only problem was that the Squip couldn’t deactivate himself. He had no time to. Jeremy didn’t sleep a lot and when he did either the Squip would get tired and fall asleep as well, or the Squip would be close to deactivating himself and Jeremy would just wake up with a headache, claiming that he had a bad dream. Usually Michael would calm him down. It became easier to get to Jeremy after Michael’s dad kicked Michael out and he went to go live with his boyfriend.

Mr. Heere was more than happy to take him in. However, even after Michael calmed him down, Jeremy couldn’t really fall asleep. He would rest his eyes and sometimes go into a light sleep, but by the time the Squip realized he was in a light sleep, he was awake again. If he tried to go into his code while Jeremy was still awake, it would hurt Jeremy greatly. 

Jeremy laid his head on Michael’s shoulder while Christine sat in front of them rambling about how well she thought she had done in her community theater group while they practiced lines. The Squip sat beside Michael and was looking at Christine too. While she talked, her ice cream started melting, but she took little breaks to wipe the chocolate off her hand and eat some of her ice cream before continuing to talk.

Michael’s mint smoothie stayed in between him and Jeremy, who shared it. Jeremy only took a few sips, but at least he was doing something. The Squip, of course, had nothing. Not because he didn’t want to try ice cream, he was pretty sure he could eat food now, but because it would look weird if he was eating ice cream outside around a bunch of people.

The sun warmed Jeremy’s back as he looked forward at Christine, who was chuckling about something, but he couldn’t tell who she had said. Michael was chuckling too. But Jeremy’s eyes darted behind Christine to a familiar figure side by side with another familiar figure. Two girls, holding hands, getting out of a car. But that wasn’t what caught Jeremy’s eye.

Some thing, some two things, were following them. Blue and green, like glitched blurs. Then they disappeared, leaving Jeremy with cold sweat and fear. He closed his eyes tightly. He was seeing things. He was seeing things. They didn’t all have Squip’s. But...if they did...what were they doing? Why didn’t they tell? Isn’t a Squip unforgivable?

Was Jeremy unforgivable? His ears started ringing, blocking out Christine’s talking and Michael’s comments every five second. Not everyone had a Squip. And if they did, maybe they just didn’t know it, or they were handling it. _Warning, warning, warning._ Jeremy suddenly found it harder to breathe. Why didn’t he know what to do? With his Squip? Why are they in perfect shape? And why does this hurt? He just saw something that wasn’t even that bad, and that deserves a panic attack?

 _God, you are weak._ He didn’t know what was going on. He doesn’t know, he’ll never know! He’ll just keep on not knowing, and screwing it up. He’ll make it difficult on everyone. Nobody wants a screw up. Nobody wants a loser. Everything about me is terrible.

 ** _Warning, warning, warning._** It wasn’t his own voice. His eyes shot open and his ears immediately stopped ringing. 

“Jeremy?” Christine let out.

“Hey, are you ok?” Michael asked.

 ** _“You look sick,”_** The Squip added.

Jeremy couldn’t say anything. He almost couldn’t hear anything. The three of them tried a few more times to snap Jeremy out of his trance but it wouldn’t work. Michael finally decided to say goodbye and he started to walk Jeremy to the car. The Squip stayed beside him, making sure he didn’t fall over. Jeremy felt dizzy and stumbled once or twice but Michael or the Squip caught him. Once he was in the car, his head rolled over to the window.

Michael turned on the radio and started asking the Squip for advice, but Jeremy couldn’t hear. _Warning, warning, warning._ It was a trick of his mind, he tried to tell himself. But it didn’t matter if his mind was playing tricks on him or not It mattered how he felt. And he felt like shit. He tried closing his eyes. Stay cool. Be cool. Why are you getting so worked up over this? It’s just a Squip or two. They can handle it.

_The thing is designed to trick._

“Do you think he’s dying?”

**_“I don’t know. I don’t think it would come to that yet. Two months, I thought it would be about two months,”_ **

Michael took his hand off the steering wheel and held Jeremy’s hand. “We’re almost home,” He whispered to him. “Whatever we’re going to do, we need to do it once we get home Squip,”

**_“I can’t deactivate unless he goes to sleep and he never goes to sleep!”_ **

“Well, we’ll make him!” Michael pulled into the driveway and picked Jeremy up like he was a child. Once they walked in, Michael set him on the couch. “Get a blanket or something!” He yelled at the Squip.

He tried to feel Jeremy’s forehead but Jeremy pushed his hand away. “I’m fine. I don’t need sleep,” He mumbled.

“You heard us?”

“You’re pretty fucking loud,”

Michael forced a chuckle as the Squip handed him a blanket. Once it was on Jeremy, he immediately threw it off. “No, once I go to sleep you’re both just going to leave,”

The Squip got on his knees beside the couch and held Jeremy’s hand. Michael gulped. “I’m not going to leave. I’ll stay here as long as you need me to,” He croaked, trying his best to smile. He moved some hair from Jeremy’s eyes, which were still closed.

“What about Squip?”

The Squip squeezed his hand gentility and looked at Michael, who still couldn’t see him so Michael kept his eyes on Jeremy. He looked back at Jeremy later and sighed. His voice came out of the radio on the bookshelf that was left on. **_“I’m right here,”_**

“Will you stay here?” He was quiet. Jeremy knew the answer. He would leave as soon as he was sleeping. Deactivate and be done with it. “No,” Jeremy protested, holding the Squip’s hand tighter, as if it would make him stay. “No,” He repeated. God, he was tired.

“Jeremy-“ Michael laid his hand on Jeremy’s other hand, which was resting on his chest.

**_“I’m here right now. Isn’t that enough?”_ **

“No, I need to know that you’re going to be here when I wake up,”

“Just go to sleep,” Michael mumbled.

“I can’t,” Jeremy whined, forcing his eyes open and looking beside him at the Squip, who quickly covered his face with his arm. He looked back up at Michael, who had tears in his eyes. “You guys can’t do this to me,”

**_“Jere, just go to sleep. It’ll be alright,”_ **

Jeremy looked back at the Squip, who was rubbing his eyes. “Bullshit,” He sat up and put a hand to the side of his head. “Bullshit,”

“Your head,” Michael said.

“To hell with my head. Since when could you deactivate?” He asked the Squip.

No one answered. The Squip looked up at Jeremy, fresh tears formed in his eyes. He took a deep breath. **_“I found out two weeks ago,”_**

“Why didn’t you tell me? We could have figured out something,”

**_“You weren’t talking to me,”_ **

Jeremy took in a shaky breath and looked back at the Squip. He yelled at him. He yelled at him to leave him alone, go away. Quit bothering him. He was on the verge of tears himself, but pushed it back. “Oh...” He couldn’t have thought about it just because Jeremy yelled at him, right. He gulped and moved to stand up.

“You look tired,”

**_“Sick,”_ **

Jeremy waved both of them off. “I’m ok guys,”

 

     

 ** _“It’d be better for you if you just went to sleep. You’ll feel, better when you wake up,”_** Jeremy stood up and walked to the kitchen, getting a glass of milk. He looked back at the Squip, setting the milk on the table. Michael was sitting on the edge of the couch now, facing Jeremy.

“I can’t deal with this, I really can’t. I’m not going to sleep,”

The Squip stood up and crossed his arms, standing in between the couch and the bookshelf. He was smiling. **_“Just...let me...deactivate. I’ll be, gone, and it will be better without me. I promise,“_**

“Who says?” Jeremy whined. 

The Squip ignored him. **_“Life would go back to the way it normally was. You can go back to being with Michael-“_**

“I already spend time with Michael,”

**_“And spend all your time with him, like you use to. Focus on him more-“_ **

“You’re just saying that because you want us together!”

**_“You are together!”_ **

“I know, but that doesn’t...Michael, you’re on bored with this too?”

He looked over at Michael, sitting on the edge of the couch, hunched over. “I don’t know what else to do Jeremy,”

“Help! We fucking help out! There’s gotta be a way-!” He looked as if he was about to pull his hair out. 

The Squip interrupted. **_“There isn’t,”_**

“How do you know that?”

“We tried...” Michael croaked. He looked down, pulling his hoodie sleeves over his hands to hide them.

Jeremy look a deep breath and looked over at the Squip, who looked just as helpless as Michael, if not more. “Together?”

**_“Yes,”_ **

“But, I thought...”

 ** _“And I know,”_** He spoke quickly, **_“it’s shocking that I spend time with him and I’m not constricted to your brain anymore, believe me, I don’t know what’s going on either. I want to stop it-“_**

“Squip,”

**_“And I want to stop your headaches and the pain you feel-“_ **

“Squip, shut up,”

**_“No! I’m serious! Don’t you want t-“_ **

“Shut the fuck up, you’re not going to kill yourself for me! I don’t want you too and I’m not going to let you! I’ll stay up for the rest of my life if I have to!”

“You might not even have the rest of your life to go Jeremy,” Michael said.

Jeremy gulped. “But what if _I..._ you know, kill _myself_?”

Everything was quiet a second. For one mysterious second. Everyone seem stop breathing, moving, _being_. Before Michael and the Squip started yelling at the same time, and didn’t stop.

**_“-putting aside the fact that it’s incredibly stupid and selfish-“_ **

“-not the simple fucking solution to this! I couldn’t fucking live-“

**_“-for a damn minute, I swear to god Jeremy-“_ **

“-might not even survive that, making it completely-“

**_“-keep you safe, why do you think-“_ **

“-what in your _goddamn_ mind-“

At same point the words just collided together and Jeremy couldn’t hear anything, just incoherent yelling. He put his hands above his ears and applied a little pressure. “Stop it! Too much, it’s _too much!_ Wait a fucking second!”

It got quiet again. Then the Squip spoke. **_“Second over. Why do you think I found out I could deactivate myself in the first place? So you wouldn’t have to get hurt! I could live out my whole life blissfully unaware of the fact that I could deactivate myself. We need to do something soon and we need you to get ready and over it before we do. I’m going to die Jeremy, and soon. Because two months, and you go. Not by anyone’s will. You get weak and you leave!”_**

“Then let me die out! I’ll make it the two best goddamn months of my entire life!”

Michael and the Squip started talking at the same time again. Jeremy put his hands down and stomped once on the floor to get them to shut up. Mr. Heere opened the door and then slowly shut it upon seeing to angry faces look his way. From outside the window, the three watched him get up in his car again and take off.

 ** _“Listen,”_** Jeremy and Michael looked back at the Squip, **_“we’re not going to do that,”_**

“Why is there a ‘we’ in this situation? You two have just been conspiring against me this entire time. This is happening to me! Does it matter what I want?”

“We can’t ask you because of course you’re going to say some stupid shit like ‘there has to be another way!” Michael yelled.

Jeremy yelled back. “But there has to be!”

**_“There is none! We are on a time limit!”_ **

“Then let me do something! Drink Mountain Dew green, that would, speed it up. Solve everything! I-”

Michael interrupted. “It wouldn’t solve shit,”

**_“You’d still be dead,”_ **

“I’d be alive inside my mind! The Squip would be-“

“No,” Michael interrupted again.

“But I-“

The Squip interrupted. **_“Stop,”_**

“You guys don’t even-“

“It’s off the goddamn table Jeremy, we’re not going to let you do it!”

Jeremy scoffed. “Why do I even need fucking permission? I’m like a two-year-old asking for candy when I can just do it myself!”

“Stop it!” Michael stood up and held Jeremy’s arm. “Stop it,” He looked like he was about to cry.

“And you’re just, letting this happen?”

“No! I’ve been looking for a way to keep you both around since I was faced with the issue but...there isn’t...I don’t...”

He looked in Michael’s eyes one second before Michael let go of him and looked away. He stormed away to the fridge and looked around. **_“What are you doing?”_** The Squip asked. Jeremy didn’t answer. He asked again, louder. **_“What are you doing?”_**

He got up and started walking towards Jeremy as he quickly pulled out a green bottle.

“Jeremy!” Michael exclaimed, trying to run to him, but the Squip had him beat.   

Jeremy did no more than open the bottle before he dropped it to the ground out of shock. He stumbled backwards. The Squip’s hand mark was already forming on Jeremy’s cheek, getting redder by the second. He put his hand up to cover it. The Squip stood and stared in shock as Jeremy crumbled in pain. “Ow!”

**_“I’m sorry Jeremy but you-“_ **

“I would’ve preferred it if you shocked me!”

**_“Believe me, it wasn’t ideal but I had no other choice!”_ **

“Let me drink the damn thing!” He grazed the spot softly with his fingertips. “Jesus Christ...” He mumbled.

“Jeremy!” Michael appeared in front of him. “What the fuck is wrong with you!”

Jeremy growled as he looked at both of them beside each other. “Everything, I guess,” He looked down at the puddle of Mountain Dew on the floor. What was he doing? His ears started ringing. His head started throbbing. They’re both conspiring, talking, leaving me out of this big life changing decision. It affects me more than anyone.  

Don’t I have a say in this? Did it ever cross their minds that I might have a useful idea? Jeremy held his head and stumbled back, falling down and curling on the floor. He shrieked. He could feel Michael and the Squip try to get him up by shaking him, and he could hear them calling his name, but couldn’t answer. They were both ok with the fact that one day Jeremy would wake up and his best friend just wouldn’t be there anymore, and his boyfriend knew what happened to him. He would probably help. He growled again before being cut off by a sharp pain in his head.

He shrieked again as Michael carried him over to his own room. There they stayed for the rest of the day. There they talked, ignoring the fact that Jeremy or the Squip was going to die soon, and they couldn’t do anything to stop it.

___

 ** _“Aren’t you, getting tired?”_** The Squip raised his eyebrow at the boy in front of him. Jeremy sat on his bed with Michael asleep in his lap, holding an Xbox controller. The Squip was sitting backwards on a chair, facing the two of them. It was 4 am. They’d kept themselves up by talking about next school year. The last year of high school for Jeremy.

“Aren’t you getting tired?” Jeremy asked.

 ** _“Nope,”_** He said tiredly and smiled.

Jeremy held back a yawn. “Great. Neither am I,”

The two sat in silence. Occasionally talking about a video game Michael was talking about earlier or what collages Jeremy was going to apply to. Around 4:56, the Squip closed his eyes and fell asleep. Jeremy looked around the room, yawning. He looked at Michael and smiled, then at the Squip. He couldn’t lose him. Especially not in his sleep, which was apparently the only way you could do it.

He didn’t have enough time to say goodbye, or enough time with him in the first place. He did so much to help Jeremy. He made him feel comfortable, he helped him during panic attacks, he was fun to hang around, he _did_ now more about what to do in social situations and help Jeremy to not look like a _total_ dork, and he helped him get Michael. The Squip was his first kiss, the one who taught him how too.

And him or Jeremy has to leave. Jeremy sighed, looking down at Michael, thinking of their 12 years together. Christine, who stayed with him even after she knew about the Squip. Who trusted him. His dad, who was trying his hardest. Honestly, he was doing pretty great. Not that Jeremy would eve tell him that, but still. He sighed. He couldn’t just throw all that away but he couldn’t watch the Squip be thrown away either.

He thought himself to sleep around 6:30. The Squip woke up while Jeremy was still asleep, but decided not to leave yet, still a little hopeful that he might find a way both of them could live together. He fell back asleep.  


	13. Broken Promises and Broken Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How long are you going to believe everything will be alright?

“No,” Jeremy kicked his foot so it poked off the side of Jeremy’s bed. The Squip and Michael looked up at his foot from where they were sitting the floor. The radio was beside the Squip, who was sitting Indian style. Michael was on his knees, ready to get up as soon as he was needed. His put it hands down on the floor beside of him to push himself up. It was silent for a minute. The clock was the only thing going. Jeremy was still again. One second. Two seconds. Then he flipped over on the bed so he was on his back. “Stop,”

“Are you ok?” Michael asked out loud, not knowing if Jeremy was listening, or even awake.

Almost immediately, Jeremy yelped, pushing and pulling on the sheet and covers. He started to sob. Both Michael and the Squip jumped up to help. The Squip crawled on the bed beside Jeremy and held his hand tightly. Michael kneeled beside the bed and held Jeremy’s other hand. His heel dug into the bed and pulled down the sheets and he stretched himself to the back board like he was possessed.

Michael gentility grabbed Jeremy’s ankle. “Don’t do that,” He said calmly, though he was kind of freaking out. He really shouldn’t. He should have been used to it by now. This had happened every time Jeremy tried to rest since he found out what the Squip and Michael were going to do. He didn’t sleep through the nights anymore and when he rested, it was no more than 13 minutes, and he almost always woke up like this. The Squip bent down to Jeremy’s face. He squeezed his hand a little, which seemed to calm Jeremy down some.

He let out a cry. “Squip?”

**_“I’m still here,”_ **

“No, no...” Jeremy mumbled. “Michael?”

Michael made shushing sounds and used his other hand to smooth Jeremy’s hair. “I’m here too,”

“Did...” Jeremy trailed off and never picked back up. He started to relax a little more and in 15 seconds, Michael and the Squip let go and looked at each other. The Squip had on a grey jacket that was bought for him, and a pair of Michael’s old glasses with the lenses popped out, so Michael could see where his eyes were.

“How long?”

**_“26 days,”_ **

They put it off for as long as they could, working their hardest. Jeremy tried to help find a way both the Squip and him could live at the same time, but he couldn’t keep his head up long enough to actually help. Not that anyone really minded.

He was going through a lot, and it seemed like everyone understood, except him. He was always mad that he was too weak. Like it was his fault. He never told anyone that he was upset though. Jeremy would just suffer in silence as he watched Michael and the Squip talk about a fate he had no control over.

 ** _“I...”_** The Squip started, **_“I...I want to tell him before I do it. I don’t want to just, leave. I have a few things I need to tell him, but if he knows what I’m going to do, he’ll refuse to sleep...”_**

“Not today,” Jeremy shouted, trying to sit up, but he fell back on the bed. 

**_“Yeah, not today. I promise. Go back to sleep,”_** The Squip rubbed his forehead.

“Not ever. We’ll find a way...” Jeremy mumbled, before falling asleep again.

The Squip looked up at Michael. Michael had tiny beads of tears in his eyes as he watched Jeremy. When he looked back down, he noticed he was crying a bit too. A single tear made its way out of his eye. He had to bite his bottom lip to keep it from quivering. **_“We’ll find a way Jeremy...”_**

___

Jeremy threw the small bouncing ball at the Squip in the darkness. The Squip was still wearing his clothes, even though Jeremy could see him perfectly well. Michael was scrawled across Jeremy’s bed in one of Jeremy’s shirts and boxers, one leg out of the blanket, and one leg in. The Squip bounced the ball back. **_“Michael fell asleep quickly...”_**

“He said it was a hard day at work,”

The Squip nodded and looked at the floor, watching the ball come back to him. There was nothing else to do at 2:30 am. Luckily, Mr. Heere had to work late. Really late apparently. Or he was out meeting some girl. At 2:30 in the morning. Not weird at all. Jeremy was wearing both Michael’s jacket and his own. He was exceptionally cold today, for it being 83 degrees outside. Both the Squip and Michael knew he was getting worse, but Jeremy went right back to ignoring the fact that something was wrong with him.

16 days. One of them had to leave in 16 days. Jeremy knew that the number of days were shortening, and even though he didn’t show any sign of acknowledging it, he did. He stopped sleeping at all. His way of protest. Both The Squip and Jeremy wanted the other to survive, but without an opening to, the Squip couldn’t save Jeremy. However, if he played with the idea of going into his code while Jeremy was awake. He could still deactivate himself like normal, but he didn’t know what it would do to Jeremy, making it completely worthless.

**_“School is coming up soon, you ready for that?”_ **

Jeremy straightened himself up and pressed his back against the wall. He cleared his throat. “I might not be going to school,”

The Squip sighed. He knew what Jeremy meant but the two never really talked about it. It would just result into another unsolved argument and it would only end once Jeremy had another one of his headaches. Did he really not care about leaving Michael behind? His dad? Christine? The chance of ever bringing back his group of friends? Jeremy wouldn’t let anyone get hurt, except himself, it seemed. But by letting himself go he would hurt everyone else around him? Didn’t he understand? Didn’t he care?

He did, but in his mind, it wasn’t like he was necessarily going to die. It was just like he was going to become a different person. The Squip. All the physical aspects of Jeremy would still be there, but it wouldn’t be him. Still, no one had to know it was the Squip, right? People change. Maybe he could pass it off as another normal change in life. Everyone would still be happy with the Squip.

When the ball came to the Squip, he didn’t bounce it back. **_“Jeremy, we need to go back to school shopping soon. You absolutely need a new pair of shoes,”_**

“You mean, _you_ need it,”

He angrily threw the ball at Jeremy, who moved so it hit the wall and rolled away. **_“I’m not the one going to high school,”_**

Jeremy shrugged. “Who says?”

**_“I say. You’re going to high school as yourself,”_ **

“Make me,” Jeremy spit out coldly.

The Squip narrowed his eyes. **_“I will,”_**

“Do I _look_ tired?”

**_“Exceptionally,”_ **

Jeremy scowled at the Squip before turning around and laying his head on the bedside, staring at the wall as if he was having a staring contest with it. The ball rolled over to the Squip, who picked it up and looked at it, pulling his knees up to his face and wrapping and arm around them. He held the ball closer to his face and dug his nail in it.

His eyes started to burn but nothing came out as he let his hand fall down and the ball rolled out, letting his face fall to his knees.  

___

His eyes had adjusted to the dark. He could see the Squip and Michael sleeping soundly. Michael was beside Jeremy, holding his hand, and the Squip was at Michael’s feet. Jeremy sat on the edge of the bed with his knees pulled up to his face. His headache was now a small pain but it never went away. It was easier to hear the ringing I his ear. It was never quiet. It was getting worse, and Jeremy had lost his hope. Only a week was left.

Mountain Dew was taken out of Jeremy’s house after he tried to kill himself with it, but no one could force Jeremy to sleep. He just didn’t feel tired anymore. The Squip and Michael fiddled more with the idea that the Squip could deactivate while Jeremy was still awake. They went over pros and cons. They wrote a list, which Jeremy found and got mad at the two yelling about how he was going to find a solution. Even though he had none.

Maybe if Jeremy kept saying he had a plan, they would start to believe him, and he could ride out the next few days without getting caught and then just peacefully, die. But no one would let him do that without hearing the plan first. Jeremy had nothing. The worst part was not knowing that you were going to die, it was knowing that you and your friend were faced with the most difficult choice in the world and there was absolutely no way out of it. No, that wasn’t even the worst part. Knowing your friend was going to die for you and you couldn’t stop it.

Jeremy threw his head back and it hit the back board of the bed. He muttered a small ‘ow’ before the light-sleeping Squip held up his head and looked at him wearily. **_“Are you ok?”_**

He waved the Squip off. “I just hit my head, chill,”

 ** _“Oh,”_** The two were quiet, looking at each other. Suddenly, the Squip sat up and smiled a bit.

Jeremy sighed. “Go back to sleep, you look tired,”

**_“I could say the same to you,”_ **

“I’m not going to do anything stupid...” Jeremy rubbed his arm. More importantly, the scars on his arm. He thought, maybe, a few nights ago, that loss of blood while he was this weak would kill him faster. But the Squip stopped him before he could mark a fifth time.

The Squip shrugged and looked at the clock. He looked back at Jeremy and sighed. **_“What’s on your mind,”_**

Jeremy froze and then shrugged it off. “Normal stuff,” He muttered, playing with the sheet on his bed while he looked down at it.

**_“Do you want to tell me?”_ **

He looked back up at the Squip. He was smiling. _Oh god yes, I want to have an honest conversation, like we’ve never gotten a chance to have before._ He opened his mouth, then closed it. _I want to be able to talk to someone about this._ He looked at the wall. _Specifically, you, and ask you, what the hell are you thinking?_ Then he looked back at the Squip. “No, not really,” _Liar._

**_“C’mon. I know you want to tell me something,”_ **

_See? You’re not even a good liar._ “It’s dumb. Whatever I have to say, it’s probably dumb,”

He frowned. **_“It’s not dumb. And I know that because I know that you think that you should know what’s going on, but you don’t. So, you think every question you ask will be dumb because you think I know what’s going on. Well,”_** he chuckled, **_“Jeremy I have no fucking clue what’s going on, I have guesses. So, we can just, talk and I’ll tell you what I think,”_**

Jeremy sighed, looking down at Michael, then back up. “I’ve been thinking...” He trailed off, looking at the Squip who just nodded. “I know there’s no way to stop one of us from going, but that doesn’t make it any less depressing...” The Squip bit his lower lip. “How do you know that I’d die in a week if you didn’t go first?”

**_“Uhhh, I thought it through. It just, seems like that would happen,”_ **

“Well, what if we just, waited? And saw what happened?”

The Squip held his breath and raised an eyebrow. **_“You want to...wait?”_**

“It’s not totally illogical,”

**_“Jeremy, based on what’s happening right now, it just, doesn’t seem like the best idea. It might kill you,”_ **

“But it might not,” Jeremy spoke up. He took a deep breath. “We just...have to take risks...if it does then I guess I’ll just, die and...” The Squip looked down and shrugged, picking at a hole in the sheet. Suddenly, Jeremy fell for first into the Squip’s lap. He turned around so he was looking up at the Squip, who was looking down at him. “I act all big and brave...” Jeremy whispered, “but I really don’t want to die...”

 ** _“And you won’t have to,”_** The Squip smiled.

“I don’t want you to die either...”

The Squip stopped smiling and looked up. **_“Well...”_**

“It’s a week, right?” The Squip nodded slowly. “Can we just, wait? And, let whatever happens, happen? If life wants to get rid of me, I’ll let it...”

**_“Jeremy,”_ **

“Do you just think I hate you?” The Squip stopped and looked down at Jeremy, confused. “Because I don’t hate you. I’m sorry I yelled at you and told you to get out of my life, I was just mad and-“

 ** _“Jeremy,”_** He interrupted, trying his best to smile again. He moved Jeremy’s hair from his eyes. **_“I don’t think you hate me...”_**

“Oh, do you hate me?”

**_“No, Jeremy, I don’t hate you,”_ **

“Do you think we can wait it out?”

The Squip looked around the room. He looked at Michael who barely moved. He could cope if Jeremy left, but it wouldn’t be as big of a deal as if the Squip left. Jeremy’s dad would probably never know. The Squip would have to pretend to be someone he wasn’t, and live with the guilt of killing his only friend. Albeit, accidentally, but you still couldn’t handle that. He wanted Jeremy to have his life and to make to great. That’s all he ever wanted.

Even if he was programed to make Jeremy’s life better in the beginning, he grew to actually want Jeremy to have a better life his own way. He sighed, smiled, and did the one thing he promised he wouldn’t ever do to Jeremy. Lie. **_“We can do that,”_**

___

“Is this just...it?”

 ** _“Yeah...”_** The Squip replied solemnly. **_“Otherwise...”_** The voice came out of the old radio Michael had placed it on the floor beside them.

Jeremy was sleeping, for once. Three days and it was over for him if something didn’t change. They’d run out of options and there wasn’t much time left. Any time. Jeremy’s solution was impossible. There was no way to tell him that, so the Squip just didn’t tell him anything. Michael didn’t tell him anything. And Jeremy didn’t suspect anything while he was getting ready to go to bed, and let the Squip set things straight in his sleep.  

The Squip smiled the best he could, fighting back tears. Michael looked emotionless. They had both let the teen go to sleep expecting the Squip to be there for him in the morning. For everything to go back the way it was.  

“Yeah, I know,” Michael waved him off and looked in the distance. He waited a few seconds. “What if you get in and find something?” he said, without looking at the Squip.

 ** _“Then I do that something,”_** The Squip shrugged. He looked down, fidgeting with a note in his hands. After a minute, he handed it to Michael, who looked down at it. **_“I wrote this...to the best of my ability...for Jeremy,”_  **

Michael nodded and slowly took it in his hands, flipping it over, studying it. He ran his thumb over the top and sniffled. He looked back up. “He’ll, uhh, appreciate it...” He tried to smile, but as soon as he started, his lips started to quiver and he looked down, kicking at the ground. He wiped his eye under his glasses with the tip of his thumb. “I-“ His voice started shaking and he tried to take in a deep breath. “Hope...ev-everything goes,”

Suddenly, the Squip wrapped his arms around Michael’s neck. Tears started to fall down his face but he didn’t make a sound as Michael hugged back. **_“Stay by his bedside,”_** Michael nodded as tear started to fall.

“I’m going to miss you,” He chuckled, shaking. “I...I wish I could see you, and not just a floating, hooded grey jacket,”

The Squip chuckled too. **_“I’ve been told I bear a striking resemblance to, uhh, Keanu Reeves,”_**    

“I’ll look up the pictures. Or just...” He shrugged and let go of the Squip, taking his glasses off and wiping them on his shirt. He chuckled again and shook his head.  The Squip put his hand on Michael’s shoulder.

 ** _“I’ll miss you too,”_** Michael looked up and put on his glasses. He nodded because he didn’t know what else to say. **_“Ummm, you can go in there with Jeremy. Already. Give him the note after, I’m gone. I need to do a few things,”_**

Michael nodded, then hugged the Squip again quickly. He tried to bite his bottom lip to keep from crying. He tasted blood, and it still wasn’t enough. A tear sipped down his cheek. “B-bye,” He tried to smile.

The Squip nodded as Michael disappeared into Jeremy’s room. **_“Bye,”_** He called out, shaking. Nobody could see, but the Squip wiped off his tears before setting his jacket and glasses on the couch. He stood, not knowing what to do next. Then, as a final victory, he started to move the couch.

___

Michael sat on the edge of the bed, not knowing what to do. The door was shut so hopefully Jeremy wouldn’t hear anything. Michael looked back at the sleeping boy. He had on Michael jacket and refused to take it off. Michael smiled and started to play with his hair. He looked back at the note in his other hand, moving it around between his fingers, and lost his smile.

He flipped it over. ‘Jeremy Heere’. He chuckled a bit. The Squip’s handwriting was ok for a guy who never wrote anything before in his life. He sighed and put the note on the end table beside the bed. Looking back at Jeremy, who was sleeping soundly, he could almost convince himself that everything was going to be ok. Michael moved two fingers under Jeremy’s hand, and Jeremy involuntarily grabbed them. He started to mumble something and Michael was worried that he woke the boy for a second, but he was back to being passed out in a matter of seconds.

He heard about what the Squip had told Jeremy almost a week ago. That they would wait. Michael felt guilty about not telling Jeremy, but the Squip was right. He wouldn’t fall asleep otherwise. And there was no other option. He had to keep reminding himself. The Squip wanted to give himself up for Jeremy as well. It wasn’t like Michael was forcing the Squip to give up his own life. It was his choice. Still, it was hard to say goodbye.

Why wouldn’t it be?

Jeremy’s grip started to harden on Michael’s two fingers and he started to move his head slightly. Michael looked down worryingly. He took his thumb and rubbed Jeremy’s hand. Jeremy’s leg shook off the blanket and he mumbled ‘no’. Michael used his free hand to feel Jeremy’s forehead, which was already getting warm.

All of a sudden, Jeremy started to scream. Scream. Michael jumped. It didn’t start out as a small shriek. His whole body was in pain. Sharp pains shot from his brain to his limbs, making them jump and kick while they were completely numbed. He couldn’t move but if he didn’t he felt like he could just combust. Michael squeezed his hand, trying to say something, but he couldn’t find the words. Jeremy became hotter.

His eyes were glued shut but behind his eyelids were a million shining lights, flickering on and off. They hurt his head more. His eyes felt like they were burning at this point. His breaths became shallow and he couldn’t breathe fast enough to get what he needed. Jeremy started to go numb. Something broke nearby as he pushed at his end table and his heart started pounding. The ringing in his ears got louder.

He crossed an arm across his chest, holding Michael’s hand tightly with the other, curling himself into a ball and then trying to straighten himself out again, but it didn’t work. “No, no, no,” Jeremy mumbled. “No, he’s...!” He gasped and started kicking.  

 With his free hand, Michael quickly pulled out his phone and called 911. Every second he waited for someone to get on, Jeremy’s movements became slower and slower. His breathing started to fade. Michael felt Jeremy’s pulse. He was going to die. _He was going to die._

He was going to lose both Jeremy and the Squip in the same day. Michael painfully tried to stop tears from falling, and failed again, as a feminine voice came from the phone.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

“Oh thank god-“  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter after this. It might not be long, or good, but it will be the last. Or will it?


	14. Is It Fun?

Everything was so quiet. Everything was so still. It should be peaceful, but it wasn’t. It hurt so much. Physically, something was trying to restrict his breathing. His lungs felt like they were full of water and like something heavy was sitting on them at the same time. He couldn’t feel his limbs lying beside him. It was like they were floating. His head was on a bag of ice and throbbing with no end and he couldn’t move to stop it, he was paralyzed.

This was the one time he wished for the ringing in his ears. It was quiet. Everything was so, horribly, quiet. So horribly still. Emotionally, he was blank. He didn’t know what happened, no matter how hard he tried to remember. He was asleep. And for some reason, thinking that he was asleep made him feel...sad? Guilty? Angry? He couldn’t pin point an exact emotion, but it wasn’t good. He thought he shouldn’t have fallen asleep, for some reason.

He heard a beeping sound, then everything became quiet for two seconds. Then another beep. He was aware that he was alive, he just couldn’t do anything about it.

___

The door opened and Michael slowly turned his head to see Mr. Heere, suit and tie, walk through the door and stood at the other side of the bed, putting his hand on Jeremy’s forehead. He sighed and looked up at Michael, who had his crossed arms laying on the bed with his chin on his arm, still looking at Jeremy. “Is he going to be ok?”

Michael looked up slightly. “I honestly don’t know. His state has gone up on down all night,”

“I feel so bad,” Mr. Heere started to rub his forehead. “Thank god you were there, I just got so caught up with work and there was-“

“It’s ok. Jeremy and I understand,” Michael interrupted, trying his best to smile. He looked back at Jeremy.

Hr. Heere put his hands down and sighed. “Yeah,” He pulled a chair from the corner of the room and sat beside Jeremy’s bed. “How long have you been here?”

“Oh, uhhh, I never left,”

He chuckled a bit. “Yeah, I thought so,” He cleared his throat. “Uhhh, Michael?” Michael looked up.

“Yeah?”

“I found this beside Jeremy’s bed,” he handed the Squip’s note to Michael, who hesitantly took it, “I didn’t read it. Specifically for Jeremy. Just thought, you know, it was something important. I mean, the last name was on it and everything,”

Michael chuckled a bit, taking the note and playing with it a little. “Yeah,” Michael said, still looking at the note, “he’ll want to read this when he wakes up,”

Suddenly, Jeremy’s heartrate went down. Michael took in a deep breath. They both looked at the monitor. “Does it, uhhh,” Mr. Heere’s voice was shaking, “do that?”

“Yeah,” Michael answered quickly. “It’ll be fine,”

It went back to normal. “Oh,” Jeremy’s eyes were still closed, but he seemed to gasp.

“Jere?” Michael asked. Suddenly, the door swung open. Michael and Mr. Heere’s eyes darted to the door. Rich ran to the end of Jeremy’s bedside and gripped it. Jake walked in and stayed near the benches. Following him was Christine, Brooke, Chloe, and Jenna.

Jenna put her hands to her mouth upon seeing Jeremy and whispered something. A whimper came from the room, but Michael couldn’t tell who it was coming from.

“Was...?” Rich looked at Michael, who just shook his head no. Then tilted it to the right and shrugged. Rich raised his eyebrow.

“I’ll tell you later. What are you guys doing here?”

“We’re here to see if Jeremy’s doing ok,” Jake said.

Brooke started to say something but Jenna piped up. “Well, Makenzie’s grandmother is a few rooms down, and Makenzie saw Jeremy being pulled in and you following. Like, seriously, she said you were crying a LOT. It was-“

“We get the point,” Michael said, his face holding a slight pink tint.

“Oh. Well, she told Molly almost immediately who told Shauna, who’s like, friends with everyone, so she told, basically everyone,”

“Why didn’t you call us?” Chloe whined.

Michael shrugged. “You guys were kind of mad at him,”

Jeremy’s heartrate went down for a few seconds. Then up. Then down. Then Jeremy popped up. He let out a soft cry and held his head, bending over. Christine gasped while Rich sighed. Brooke put her hand to her heart and bent over slightly, mumbling something. Michael put his hand on Jeremy’s back, rubbing small circles.

Once Jeremy sat up, he had tears in his eyes. He started rubbing his eyes and then looked forward. “Rich?”

Rich laughed kindly. “Heere knows my name!” He said sarcastically, even though he was glad. Jeremy looked around the room.

“Lay down bud,” Michael said, smiling. Jeremy slowly laid back down, looking from person to person. He smiled too when he looked at Michael. The two held hands. “Do you know what happened?”

Jeremy shook his head no and Michael sighed, looking around the room. Michael looked back at him, trying to smile again, but this time it was harder. “Why can’t I hear?” He whispered. Michael immediately looked down and stuttered a bit. He looked at Rich, who’s face suddenly dropped. He was beginning to understand. So was Christine. She smiled sympathetically as she sat down on one of the benches.

“Huh?” Mr. Heere exclaimed in confusion. Jeremy looked at him, then back at Michael. He shook Michael’s hand to get him to look up. When he did, he was still trying to smile, but tears were running down his face.

Jeremy’s eyes started to water too as he tilted his head, as if he was ready for Michael to tell him that it was just some sick joke. But it never happened. His grip loosened on Michael’s hand and he looked up at the ceiling as tears fell down his face. He closed his eyes. As soon as he opened his eyes again Michael handed him the note. He looked at Michael. “I don’t know if you want to read it now,”

He slowly took the note and just held it, looking at his name. The handwriting was neat. He sighed, holding the note to his chest. “Am I missing something?” Mr. Heere asked quizzically. Chloe shot up.

“Can I tell him Jeremy?” Jeremy nodded slowly, watching Chloe lead Mr. Heere out of the room. “This is a lot to take in, ok? I promise, all of it is true,”

Once the doors were closed, Jeremy sighed. “Second time being hospitalized by a supercomputer,” He made a sorry attempt at laughing, but more tears fell against his will. He looked over at Michael, who just smiled sympathetically and shrugged.

“He’s gone this time?” Rich asked.

“Rich...” Michael warned.

“No, no. I think...” Rich looked down and swung his foot back and forth a bit. “I think I, maybe, might have, misjudged him, maybe. You, still need to tell me what’s going on but, it doesn’t... _look_ good,” he looked back up at Jeremy, “h-he was a, friend, this time around, wasn’t he?”

Jeremy smiled a bit. “He was,” Rich needed a lot more convincing, but that was enough for now.

“Sorry we weren’t involved much,” Brooke said. Jake and Jenna nodded. “It was just kind of... _weird._ I mean, you told us what he did to you, and I knew about the play, and what he did to me. I just didn’t, and I guess I still don’t, but I’m working on it, understand why you’d want someone like that back in your life...”

“And trust him,” Christine added.

Brooke nodded. “But...he seemed like he meant a lot to you...”  

A few seconds went by. No one spoke. Jeremy looked at the note in his hands a few more times, but didn’t know if he wanted to open it. He looked at Michael occasionally, as if Michael would tell him if he should open the thing or not, but he never said anything. Finally, Jeremy sighed, and slipped his thump through a small opening.

He didn’t open it quickly. He listened to every sound it made on the way. The first thing he could tell was that the writing was exceptionally neat. For a second, he didn’t want to focus on anything but how the writing was neat. The words looked like weird spider webs but he knew they were words. The Squip’s words. As soon as his eyes adjusted, he started reading slowly, like he could envision the Squip writing it if he stared at every word long enough. The world stopped spinning as soon as he started reading.

“First of all: I can never hate you. I did not want to kill myself because I hated you. Quite the opposite, in fact. I know that you’re mad because I lied to you, and I’m really sorry. Believe me, I didn’t want to do it. Any of it. I didn’t want to hit you, yell at you, lie to you, but sometimes I felt like it was the only way to keep you alive and out of trouble. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to think I died hating you,”

Jeremy took a deep breath as his vision started to get blurry. He shut his eyes tightly before feeling Michael put his hand on his arm. He took another breath and opened his eyes to continue reading, although everything was still a bit blurry.  

“I never got to grow. Grow up, I mean. I’m a supercomputer. I don’t have feelings and I don’t feel things. I don’t touch things and I don’t have friends. I encountered an error, and I got to do those things in a hopeless attempt to fix myself. And it was the best moment of my short-lived life. I got to learn. I got to be halfway human. With you. My friend, Jeremy Heere. Thank you for letting me learn how to be halfway human.  -Your Squip”

He stopped.

Took a deep breath.

Reread.

Let it out.

Wiped a tear.

Your Squip. S-Q-U-I-P. The one he got to make himself look cool. The one he got to get Christine to like him. The one who almost destroyed the entire school. Nobody ended up liking him, but somehow, he befriended him. He grew to like him. The Squip, the enemy, became Jeremy’s friend.

Now he was crying over him. Someone he was supposed to hate. He called him a loser, he made him think that he was terrible, he blocked Michael out of his life. Maybe if Jeremy could just remember that the Squip was shit to him before, he could stop being sad. But he couldn’t. “Your _Squip,”_ He mumbled, low enough that no one could hear.

The door opened and giggling Chloe was standing beside pale-faced Mr. Heere. He came walking towards Jeremy’s bedside again. Jeremy chuckled a little. “You ok, pops?” He said sarcastically.

“Yeah, I’ll...I’ll be, uhh...Yeah, umm...” He reached for his chair, missing a few times, and sat down, sighing. “Ummm...I didn’t. Well? You...” He stuttered a bit. Michael chuckled.

“It’s ok Mr. Heere,” Jake said with a wide grin on his face, “it just, takes a while. It’ll sink in,”

“How is that... _possible?_ ”

“It’s a world where Donald Trump became president,” Christine said. A few people chuckled. “Anything is possible,”

Jenna shrugged. “In all seriousness, it comes from Japan. They do crazy stuff down there,”

“Technology, is...something, isn’t it?”   

“Dad,” Jeremy said, “don’t focus on it too hard. Now at least. We’ll talk about it at home,”  

Jeremy squeezed Michael’s hand a bit and looked at him, as if to tell him that they would tell him together. Michael nodded. He looked back at Mr. Heere. “Oh yeah,” Mr. Heere chuckled and elbowed Jeremy’s shoulder to get his attention, even though he was looking straight at him. “You’ll get a kick out of this. One of your friends, don’t know which one, moved all the furniture a couple of inches to the right. Can you believe that?”

Jeremy shut his mouth and looked around the room. Rich shrugged and Brooke shook her head no. Michael’s eyes watered and he tried to smile anyway. But Jeremy knew exactly who it was. And he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you know me, you know none of my stories have happy endings. But I’m not saying they’re necessarily sad. I don’t believe that life gives you these ‘happy endings’, and rarely does someone make their own happy ending. Life gives you neutral endings, and you decide whether you think they are happy or sad but they will always remain neutral in the eyes of me. So you take what you want from this. Is it sad because the Squip is gone, Jeremy is depressed, so is Michael? Maybe a part of everyone in the group is depressed? Or is it happy because, now, Jeremy has all his friends back, and they all trust him, all want to help him? His physical pain is gone and he knows that he did help the Squip while he was still alive? You can believe whatever you want and I will never stop you. Just know that I believe that happy endings don’t exist and I have a hard time writing them. Don’t expect much from me. *Puts down story book* *Smiles through tears* *Pats little kid’s head* I’m going to go get sushi now   
> For those of you who didn’t get the last sentence, remember in chapter four when Jeremy told his friends not to get shit-faced drunk because they would end up moving all the furniture two inches to the right and the Squip joked saying it wasn’t a bad idea? 
> 
>  
> 
> Dear Kiddos: This might not be the last chapter, because I have no life. Maybe, just maybe I'll write an aftermath. If you guys would read it, that is. Not saying it will be long. Or happy. Ok maybe it will be a little happy


	15. Maybe There’s A Reason To Believe You’ll Be Ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to write fluff. And failed. It took two weeks. I almost cried, I DON"T KNOW HOW TO WRITE FLUFF

“Are you ok?” Jeremy snapped out of his trance, looking at Rich, who had his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. He looked actually concerned. Which he looked like most of the time when he was around Jeremy. It was kind of weird. Rich didn’t even like making fun of Jeremy as a joke anymore. It felt like he changed everything about himself to make Jeremy more comfortable, which was nice, but he didn’t always help.

Out of everyone in the group, he understood the least, but he wanted to understand the most, and it usually made things very awkward. He didn’t always know what to say. Jeremy slowly nodded. He wasn’t ok, but he doubted anyone could help. He wasn’t necessarily sad, he just wasn’t feeling, right. “We can go home if you don’t want to be out right now,” Michael suggested.

“Speak for yourself,” Brooke said, taking another bite of her frozen yogurt. “I’m staying,”

“I don’t want to go home. I’m having, fun,” Jeremy lied again. It wasn’t really fun, but it wasn’t terrible. He didn’t want to go home. Everyone else was having fun, why should they stop on his account?

“You know you can always talk to us if you need anything. We’re always _Heere,”_ He said, nudging Jeremy and then looking anxiously for a response.

Jake took another bite. “How long are you going to milk that?”

“As long as it keeps being funny,”

“It was never funny,” Chloe said.

“Correction, it stopped being funny 6 jokes ago,” Michael readjusted to straw in his slushy, poking around in the cup. He shrugged. “Now, it’s just sad,”

Jeremy shrugged. “Whatever floats your boat, man,”

Rich scoffed, crossing his arms. “You guys are lame,”

Michael rolled his eyes and walked over to Jeremy, putting his arm around his shoulder. “But dude. You’re cool. Right?”

“I am,” Jeremy smiled. “I promise,”

“Great,” Brooke finished off her bowl of yogurt.

“Jesus Christ, woman, how fast did you eat that?” Jake said.

“Without brain freeze. That’s impressive,” Rich added.

Chloe put her hand on Brooke’s shoulder, looking down disapprovingly. “Don’t encourage her,”

“Too late,” Brooke said, grabbing Jakes bowl of frozen yogurt, which he had been ignoring.

“Hey!”

Brooke was already taking a bite. “Blow me,”

Jeremy chuckled a bit and then looked over to Michael, who nodded his head in the direction of a new student in their high school, running past stores. He bumped into a woman, knocking down her shopping bags, but hardly stopped to even look, and just kept running. “Jesus,” Michael muttered.

“Don’t you know that kid?” Chloe asked, but Jeremy ignored her to help the woman pick up her bags. The woman didn’t even look at him. She took her bags and angrily stomped off. Jeremy tried to wave at her, but she just returned with an angry glare. She looked back to the direction the new student, Connor Murphy, turned around and left.

The woman looked like she was about to cry. Jeremy backed up and turned around. “Alright?” He sighed.

“I’m pretty sure he’s planning to blow up the school or something,” Brooke stated, waving her spoon around in the air.

“Don’t start with your crazy theories,” Chloe complained.

Brooke pointed her spoon at her and Jake chuckled. “When the school blows up in a month, don’t say I didn’t warn you,”

Jake looked at Jeremy and Michael. “Do you want to ditch them and go home? Play video games or something? I’m bored as hell,”

“Babe,” Rich complained.

“I’m sorry, that wasn’t very _lady like._ We could go to my house and you guys can play video games while Rich and I make out,”

Rich wiggled around in his seat. “Thank you,”

Jeremy shrugged. “I’m not sure if I want to see the making out part,” he looked at Michael, “but video games sound nice,”

“Really?” Michael almost jumped. Jeremy hadn’t played video games in months. Hadn’t felt quite up to it. To be honest, Jeremy didn’t even know if he felt up to it today. But they were already out. This was the first day in months that Jeremy had willingly left the house, so why not try to play video games? It might be fun.

Jake stood up and walked over to Rich, kissing his forehead and linking arms. “Ready, _m’lady_?” Rich blushed and nodded. Jake looked at Michael and Jeremy. “What about you homos?”

Michael put one hand to his heart and held Jeremy’s hand with the other. “I’m touched,” They started to walk towards Rich and Jake, but Michael stopped and placed a kiss on Jeremy’s forehead.

“Are you trying to out gay us?”

“Battle of the gays!” Brooke stood up, leaning on the table.

Chloe placed a hand to her forehead. “Brooke no,”

Michael shrugged and looked at Jeremy, who kissed him on the lips. Rich gasped in the background. “Well it’s settled, we have to get married now,”

“Clare’s has tiaras,” Jake replied, and the two ran off.

“Fuck you guys,” Jeremy said, pulling on Michael’s hand. The two started sprinting to catch up with them, following them to Clare’s. Brooke and Chloe started running after them as well.

Jake rushed into the store quickly and pulled down a tiny tiara with a veil while Rich picked out pink nail polish. Jeremy ran to the flower crowns and picked a full red rose one. He set it on top of his head and kept looking around. Brooke and Michael started looking at bow ties.

Chloe stood at the door. “I hate you all,”

“Help me!” Brooke said impatiently. “Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one who wants to get married in this relationship,” She complained to Michael, who was beside her.

“Women,” He scoffed.

Chloe giggled and ended up walking in, picking out a sparkly tiara. In two minutes, all six of them were at the counter with two flower crowns, one was a giant rose one, and one was of small daises, 7 different nail polishes, two tiaras, three bowties, black, black, and bright pink, a pack of hair ties, and a vail. The woman at the counter eyed all three off them suspiciously but rung them up anyway.

“We need dresses,” Jake said.

“Rue 21 has great dresses,” Brooke said.

“Well I’m not wearing a dress,” Michael replied.

“Aww,” Jeremy teased. Michael playfully shoved him.

“Guys, we’re going to be broke,”

Michael shrugged. “You don’t have to buy one,”

“But I want to get married,” She whined. “What happened to playing video games?”

“Well now we’re all getting married, suck it,” Brooke jumped on Chloe’s back and they walked like that all the way to Rue 21.

Jeremy grinned from ear to ear. Michael and Jeremy were now unconsciously swinging their hands between them, Brooke was hugging Chloe’s shoulders and laid her head down while Chole struggled to find a place for her hands.

“You’re fucking heavy,”

“I know,” Brooke said happily, kissing the top of Chloe’s forehead.

Jake and Rich had their arms linked and were still awkwardly holding hand somehow while Rich was stuck holding his shopping bag and Brooke’s as well.

“Dude, I could carry one of them,” Jake asked, reaching for the bags.

Rich pulled away. “Don’t dude me,” He kissed Jake on the cheek. “I can carry them,”

Jeremy was holding his and Michael’s bag beside him. Michael was still holding his slushy, taking sips every now and again. Jeremy looked at both of their hands, then up at Michael. Michael looked up at him and almost choked on his slushy before smiling and laughing. “What?”

Jeremy kissed the top of Michael’s forehead. “You’re just so cute,”

“You’re cute,” Michael replied. He couldn’t stop giggling. His whole face was pink.

Maybe he was tired. Maybe he wasn’t feeling up for video games. Maybe he didn’t remember why he said he wanted to go out, or why he followed Rich and Jake to Clare’s, or why he helped Rich pick out a simple pink dress with lace flowers at the top. He couldn’t understand why he was genuinely happy when Chloe and Brooke tried to get him to buy a blue dress.

Maybe he was just trying to play along in the beginning, but he got home and started writing wedding vows with everyone else. When Michael tried to look, he shoved him away playfully, but that proved not to work and they made out for at least 5 minutes before everyone got dressed, calling over Christine and Jenna, who called over Dustin. A next door neighbor joined in, making fun of them all, but took one thousand pictures and congratulated them a thousand times.

Jeremy was almost too tired to dance, but one look at Michael’s excited expression stopped him. So, all of them went inside and danced the night away, watching reality T.V until Mr. Heere came home from his date. Brooke and Chloe were asleep, snuggling together in a white and light pink dress. Jake was asleep in his pink dress, leaning on Rich’s shoulder, who still had his suit on. Michael and Jeremy were beside them, Jeremy’s arm laid across Michael’s shoulder. Both of them were wide awake. Christine sat beside Jenna, looking on her phone next to the couch. Dustin was perched on the arm rest of the couch, and the neighbor, Jared, sat under it, texting.   

Maybe Jeremy started to feel a bit depressed after it was all over, but that couldn’t be helped. Maybe everything wasn’t _perfect,_ he thought, looking over all his friends sitting on the couch, mindlessly watching Cake Wars until someone came home _._

But it was pretty damn close.     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would die for this group of friends. I would die to be at this wedding. Why would none of you invite me I feel betrayed :"( 
> 
> I'm doing something with that Connor Murphy situation, I have it planned. This is the absolute last chapter of this story, but there's going to be a sequel because I have no self control


End file.
